The Truth Hurts
by IlovetowriteSMP
Summary: Jason tries to save Carly from Jerry. Jarly.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**- The Truth Hurts

**Couple**- Jarly/Carjax triangle.

**Disclaimer**- These characters belong to TPTB at GH.

**Premise**- The current storyline takes a twist that threatens to end Jarly forever. The best description of this story's tone is fast and gritty.

**Note**-

1. For storyline purposes, Irina and Elizabeth both do not exist. There's no room for them in this story.

2. Carly sent the info about Alcazar to Diane via FedEx but Carly never made it to the courthouse herself.

3.Any medical stuff in this story is not meant to be realistic.

I shouldn't start another story but sometimes I just can't help myself when it comes to Jarly. They are the best supercouple ever presented on daytime television, imo, and their love story is inspiring in every way. This story will be pretty short.

**Chapter One**

Nothing put Jason Morgan into more of a panic than knowing that Carly was missing. Again.

He couldn't believe he had let it happen, but he had. He hated himself for that- but their wasn't time to think about all his mistakes, all his missteps, all the ways he should have done better by her, not right now.

He had rushed out of the courtroom only an hour before, as soon as the jury foreman said "_We find the accused, Jason Morgan, in the top charge of this indictment- murder in the first degree- not guilty."_

The bailiff had to hold him back from leaving until the judge officially released him by entering the ruling into the public record and banging his gavel. Jason had looked at Diane. _"I can go?_"

She nodded and then he was gone, running out of the building and jumping into the limo Max had waiting for Sonny at the curb. He wanted to go straight to the airport and get to Venezuela to pull Carly away from Jerry Jacks, who was only hours from getting a bullet to his brain if Jason had anything to say about it, but it wasn't that simple. Jason had to head to his Penthouse and grab clothes, his gun, and passport first.

_Knock. Knock._

He jerked open the door. "I don't got time."

Jasper Jacks stared back at him, looking pale and disheveled. "You have time for this, believe me."

"What?" His tone was sharp, his mind already in South America.

_Why didn't she listen to me? _Jason asked himself. _Why does Carly always do this? She knows it will kill me if something happens to her...nothing will happen to her...I won't let it._

Jax walked in, carrying a disc. "You need to watch this."

Jason took a second look at the man, taking a moment to really see the shape he was in. Jason's blood went cold, his mouth dry, his heart slowed down. "Just tell me what it is! Did your brother get Carly into some kind of trouble? I don't care what she says I'm not letting him ever get near her again after this..."

"Just watch it, will you? If you want to find her, you need to see this."

Jason didn't want to waste time on whatever this was but grabbed the disc and jammed it into the DVD player. A grainy surveillance video showed Carly strapped to a chair. Her hair was dirty and messy, her facial features slack. She was clearly drugged out of mind.

Jason's whole body went tense. _Oh god, no, _he thought. His eyes jerked over to Jax. "How could you let this happen?"

"Shut-up and listen."

He didn't want to listen though, Jason wanted to rush to wherever Carly was and save her. Now. To get her back. Bring her home. She shouldn't be out of his sight, held by some madman, tortured and threatened and in pain. It tore at his heart.

Jason forced his eyes back to the screen when he heard Jerry yell "_You will tell me the truth this time. Those drugs flowing through you leave you very little choice, actually. I won't allow you to break my brother's heart with your faithless ways."_

"He's a dead man," Jason hissed.

Jerry held a syringe in his hand. He moved close to Carly again.

Jason fingers clenched and unclenched. "Where are they?"

"It looks like a warehouse in town," Jax said. "See those crates in the back are marked Port Charles Harbor Authority."

"I'll find them," Jason said. He turned to run from the apartment, wanting to get to Carly and also not to see that video anymore. She looked lost, scared, abandoned, abused- like she needed him. He had to rescue her before it was too late.

His mind wasn't working at full speed or else he would have known to watch the whole recording, to get as many clues as possible. But all Jason knew was Carly was in trouble.

Jax stepped in front of him and pushed at his chest. "I said you need to watch it. All of it."

"Screw you." Jason punched him. "Your friggin brother did this. Look what he did to her!"

Jax, from his spot on the ground, wiped blood off his lip. His eyes were filled with anguish. "Its what you did to her, Jason. You put her in this position."

"No..."

On the TV, Jerry was right up in Carly's face. "_You and your insufferable blabbering on about Jason. And what do you say about my brother? Not half as much. What brings that desperately needy look into your eye? Not saving your husband. No! Jason is the one you'd go to the ends of the earth for. You're going to be honest with me now, darling sister-in-law. Or I'll pump you so full of drugs you won't even remember who you are let alone anything about your best friend._"

Jason's head spun back to look at the screen again.

Carly whimpered, "_What do you want to know? I'll tell you anything...just let me go...I need to get home to my boys...Micheal and Morgan...my beautiful babies...so much like Jason, both of them,...its crazy cause he's not even their father, not bio...bio...what did you give me? I feel funny."_

"_You like talking. Talk. You have a little issue with honesty, though, don't you? So I thought I'd make it simple for both of us. You aren't going home to lie to Jax and make a million promises about a future that will never happen. You're going to sit right here in this room and tell him the truth. Smile for the camera, Carly. Jax is probably home by now, back from looking for me and wondering where his wifey is...say hello."_

"_Please, let me go."_

Tears pricked the back of Jason's eyes. He let out a harsh breath.

Carly went on, "_Someone did this to me before...I can't take being tied up like this...you're making a mistake...Sonny will hunt you down but Jason will be the one who finds you...you don't want that, Jerry,...I don't want to have to tell Jax what Jason did to you...that you got what you deserve...it'll break Jax, I know it will...don't make me break him...don't...let me go home."_

"_Hmmm. Maybe you do care for him, some. But is it enough that I will let you survive? What do you think?" Jerry pulled out a gun and pointed at her heart. _

Jason looked at Jax. "He doesn't?"

For the time it took for Jax to open his mouth and answer, a few heartbeats, Jason didn't breathe.

"No."

"If he just goes on like this, with his insane rants, then I don't need to hear it. I got to go look for her, get Spinelli working on enhancing this disc so we can figure out where it was shot-"

Jerry asked Carly, _"Which man do you love most? Is it your ex-husband, Sonny? Your supposed love of your life, Jax? Or is it, truly deep down in that bitter little thing you call a soul, Jason who you love, honor and cherish above all others? Answer me, you conniving little wench."_

"_Yes, yes, yes, I love them, yes. Is that good enough for you? I told you the truth."_

"_What truth? You love them all? No, that's not how this game is played, precious. Just like you only get one father in life, and you only get one soulmate. One. So who owns the biggest piece of that ugly mangled clump in your chest you pass off as a heart?"_

"_My boys."_

"_Don't you dare play games with me. I'm not talking children, and you bloody well know it. I want to know if I had this gun here," he ran it over her chest "pointed at Jason what would you do? Jump in front of it and let yourself be killed for him? Leave my brother mourning a woman who never really loved him at all?"_

"_I do love Jax. He's my future."_

"_He's no more than your third or fourth choice. Anyone can see that."_

"_Put the gun down. Don't kill me...I have children that need me...I have to get home...Jason will be so mad at me...but I had to save him. I need to see him...He needs me...you don't understand and that's okay but Jason needs me right now so I have to go..."_

"_There you go with the Jason talk again! Just answer the question. Now."_

"_What? I'll tell you anything if you will let me go."_

"_Then tell me!"_

"_What?" She was sobbing now. "What? I told you everything already. I don't know what you want."_

"_Are you in love with Jason Morgan?"_

"_Yes, of course, that's not any secret...everyone knows...Jax knows...he's not mad...please let me go to the courthouse like you promised. Jason will help us find Jax...he won't let me down. He loves me...he'll help us, Jerry. You'll see. I need to go. I was supposed to be watching Spinelli. You don't want Jason to find out you kept me from doing that...he could hurt you...I won't be able to protect you if he finds out about this, whatever this was about, let me go."_

"_You're not going anywhere, Carly. Not until Jax knows what a liar you are. Why did you even marry him?" There was true distaste for her, and pain for his brother, in Jerry's words "You can't be in love with my brother and Jason and Sonny at the same time, you crazy little tramp."_

"_I'm not crazy! I married Jax because we want the same things. We're going to be a happy, perfect family together. Normal. Stable. With more babies and even grandchildren one day. I didn't lie. I love him. I do...its not my fault I love Jason more...don't kill me over that...please...I'll try harder to not love Jason...I just need to try harder..give me more time to try..please..."_

_He raised the gun he was holding to point it at her head. _

"_No, don't!"_

_Jerry spun around and shot out the camera recording them._

Jason was shaking with fury. He turned to flee the Penthouse but Jax's words froze him in place.

"Did you catch it?" Jax asked. "Right before the screen went dark Carly mouthed something. I watched it several times already. I think it's a clue about where she is...watch it again. I thought I made it out but it makes no sense...not really...so I think she must have said something else. If I didn't need your help to figure it out I wouldn't even be here so look at her- look at that women you claim to know so well- and tell me what she said!"

Jason rewound it ten seconds back. He studied Carly. She mouthed one word- but it was all he needed to know. He ran for the stairs, taking them two at a time, desperate to find her before it was too late.

Jax tried to keep up with him but when Jason jumped on his bike and roared out of the parking garage Jax lost sight of him.

Jason was sure Jax didn't know what the message Carly sent meant, but Jason did. She had mouthed "_Diego."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Jason entered the warehouse, where Diego Alcazar was killed the year before, with his gun drawn. His eyes immediately locked in on Carly. She lay on the ground, her eyes closed. Next to her was a knocked over chair and some rope.

_Please, you got to still be alive, _he silently begged her.

He moved toward her quickly. A shot rang out from above. It hit the concrete right next to his feet. Jason looked up and spotted Jerry on a catwalk above him.

Jason started firing. Jerry ducked around the corner.

Jerry yelled out, "You deserve to die over her. It would be a fitting end- giving your life for the one woman who would give hers for you. Even though you hardly spare her a passing thought between your live-in pin-up doll and all the other wives, girlfriends and whores you chose over her. Oh yes, Carly told me all about it. Pathetic how she cried over you. Sad, really. All for you and nothing for my saint of a brother. Oh well, at least, you know now, Morgan, and you can die feeling guilty, as it should be." More bullets reined down.

Jason threw himself on Carly, shielding her body. He drug her behind some crates. "Hey, come on, wake up for me. I'm here now. You gotta wake up. Don't do this to me...you said nothing could make you leave me...not who you married, not what I did, not even this...you can't die on me, Carly."

She was cold and pale. Pieces of Jason's heart and soul started to disintegrate.

_I can't be too late._

His mouth went to hers. She was breathing but it was very shallow. His fingers felt for a pulse. It was there but weak.

_Stay, stay, I'll fix everything. I promise_...

Jason shouted at Jerry, "What did you _do_ to her?"

Jerry laughed. "Oh, just gave her another couple doses to make sure I got the real truth out of her addled little brain. Didn't mean for it to go so far. You know how it is...I go to extremes for my family, much like you, Morgan. Too bad Carly couldn't hang. Jax is better off without her and her traitorous heart, anyway."

Jason's mind didn't seem to be working right. He knew there was something he was supposed to do. A way to save her.

_I've loved you for so long,_ he thought_, Almost as long as there has been a me, I've been in love with you._

Jason cradled her close to him, breathing into her mouth- trying to push more air in and keep her alive. He ripped his mouth away, crying out in agony.

Jason jerked his cell out of his pocket and dialed. "I need an ambulance..." he kept speaking, telling the address, his words shaking, just like his body was. "Yeah, she's breathing ...but...you got to hurry. I don't know what happened, damn it. JUST HURRY!"

There hadn't been any gunfire in a few minutes. Jason stood up and went around the cartes, looking up to try and spot Jerry. He aimed his gun into the darkness above them and fired.

Picking Carly up he carried her outside. Jerry didn't shoot at them, leaving Jason to assume he must be long gone. All Jason knew was he had to get her to the hospital as quickly as possible. He was walking down the street with her when the ambulance stopped and the paramedics jumped out.

"Did you call?"

"Save her." His words were ragged and breathless.

Jason laid Carly on the gurney.

"Was it a car accident? Overdose? I don't see any wounds."

"I don't know. Drugs of some kind. Just save her. Save her. Now."

They started to take her vitals.

Jason clutched her hand, then bent to kiss it. "Don't leave me. I was never worth all this. Can't you see that? Don't die over me...live for me."

"Move back, sir."

Jason said, "I stay with her."

"Let us work."

Jason tried to leave go of her hand but his mind was overruled by his heart and he only gripped her hand tighter.

The paramedic told his partner, "We got to get her to the ER. Lets go."

They all climbed into the back of the ambulance. Jason asked, "She's going to make it, right?"

The doors slammed shut.

"Right?" Jason repeated. His eyes moved down to her face. He needed to see that face everyday or else he would lose his mind.

Carly started to shake violently.

The paramedic pushed Jason back with one hand and reached for a syringe with another. "She's seizing."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jason stood right outside of the cubicle where they were working on Carly. He had pulled back the curtain so he could see Robin and Patrick as they placed the paddles on her chest.

He felt his own heart jump as hers was shocked.

"Nothing. No breath sounds or pulse," Patrick said

Robin turned up the dial and announced they would try it again.

_Work, work, this has got to work_, Jason silently begged.

Then Epiphany was there, pulling him back and closing the curtain.

"I have to see her." Jason tried to get around the nurse.

"Let them do their jobs. You don't want to see that."

"I have to. She needs me."

A loud mechanical noise filled the air, a long and steady beep, then was quickly cut off.

Robin stepped out of the cubicle. Patrick was a half step behind her but Jason couldn't really focus on him. His eyes locked onto Robin's. One shake of her head, barely noticeable to anyone else, told Jason they had failed. Her eyes were wide with pain and silently saying, _"I'm so sorry."_

Jason swayed forward, as his body started to fold in on itself, "No..." He sucked in a huge breath, till his whole chest felt like it would explode.

Patrick spoke first, his words shell shocked, "We did all we could. I'm sor-"

Jason pushed him against the wall. His hand was on the doctor's throat. "Do more."

"There's isn't anything. I know this is hard to-"

Jason's face was a mask of heartache, fear and desperation."You don't know anything! Do more. Do something for her. She's a good person. Get her back. I need her back." Jason knew he was sobbing but couldn't stop. His eyes went to Robin as he said her name, it was a desperate plea.

"Tell him," Jason said to Robin. "I need her, you know that. Tell him she can't die."

She ran back into the room. "One more time."

Patrick pushed Jason away. He hurried over to Carly. "You know it's been too long."

"Maybe not. Turn it up all the way." Robin said "All right, Carly,...this is it. Clear."

She stuck the paddles on her chest.

_I will change. I swear I will, if you come back_, Jason silently told her,_ I'll be who you need. I won't let you down again... give me one more chance...baby, I don't want to be here alone... I miss you already, Carly. _

_Damn it, breathe!_

"There's nothing," Patrick said

Jason rushed into the room and picked Carly up into his arms. He stroked her hair. "Please, please, please, do this for me. Be strong. Fight some more...oh. No, no, no, Carly, no...don't be gone."

He looked at Robin, his eyes begging her, "Try again. You have to bring her back to me."

Jason pulled Carly's lifeless body close to him, rocking her against him, kissing her forehead. "Don't leave me. I'm in love with you"

He said the words she always longed to hear. But, just like Jason had feared for years now, the revelation could be coming too late to change anything.

_**(Something in my heart always knew  
I'd be lying here beside you  
On my own  
On my own  
On my own...**_

_**I'm on my own  
Why did it end this way?**_

_**  
On my own  
This wasn't how it was supposed to be**_

_**  
On my own  
I wish that we could do it all again...**_

_**I don't want to live without you  
On my own  
On my own  
On my own ) ( Patti Labelle)**_

Note- _No, the story is not over yet. Sorry for the rough, sad chapter but this story goes through some harsh moments before the ending. But it is a romance and will, hopefully, have a happy ending for at least some of the characters._


	3. Chapter 3

**Note-** _this story is nearly entirely in Jason's POV, besides a rare scene here or there. ( So you won't see it through anyone's eyes but his)._

_It is the story of Jason realizing how deep inside of him Carly really is._

**Chapter Three**

Jax stepped off the elevator. Jason's steps over to him were filled with a barely contained anger.

"How is she?" Jax asked "Why didn't you call me? Epiphany had to. How is my wife? I came right over."

Jason grabbed his arm and drug him into a nearby hallway, tossing him against the wall.

"I don't need your shit right now, Morgan. Tell me about Carly."

"Your brother and his friggin drugs stopped her heart."

Jax's face lost all its color. Jason almost felt bad for him, but the feeling faded as quickly as it came. It was replaced but a hate so intense Jason feared he would be consumed by it.

Jason cursed at him, "You never deserved to marry her! I shouldn't have let you."

For a long minute both men were lost in their own pain.

"I want to see her." Jax tried to move pass Jason but Jason grabbed his arm and yanked him back.

"I'm sick of allowing men like you to be near her. That ends now."

Jax stared right into his eyes. While Jax was overcome with sadness, Jason seemed to be running on rage.

It brought out a bitter reaction from Jax. "You never allowed anything. Carly did what she wanted."

"You think? I let her be with you. And I could have kept her away from you without even saying one word. A look. That's all it would have took and she wouldn't have been yours at all. But I thought you would do right by her, Jax. Never figured on you putting that psycho of a brother before your own wife. Carly deserved better than that!"

"Then you should have given it to her. She spent a decade waiting on you. And you knew it. Every second she was with AJ and then with Sonny, she was waiting for you to rescue her. But you couldn't find the courage. Then she upped the stakes and went to Alcazar. Still you didn't come for her. She fell in love with me and moved passed you the best she could...she would have gotten over you completely...in time.." Jax's words turned teary "because we were the real thing and that is what you can't stand to face."

Jax added, in a low whisper filled with pain,"You feel that lump in your throat. Its called regret. I hope you choke on it, Morgan."

Jason lost every ounce of his anger in that instant, and he hated that. He craved that intense hate filled feeling, it was better than the alternative.

Jax pushed his shoulder and forced him out of the way. "I'm going to see my...wife...one last time."

"She's not your wife anymore. They got Carly's heart beating again. She's hanging on- barely and maybe not for good. But if she lives...she's done with you."

"You bastard! How could you lie about her being dead?"

Because all the things that seemed impossible before Jason watched Carly flat line, seemed easy now. He could say the truth or lie or be selfish, and not care who got hurt, as long as she was safe.

Jason pushed at Jax's chest, knocking him backwards, as the anger rose up in him once more-even stronger now, even more intense and deadly

Jason spat out,"She did die. Jerry pumped her full of too much sodium pentothal and stopped her heart. He did it for you. To pay her back for daring to not love you the most.You saved his worthless life and he could be the reason Carly..." Jason didn't want to say the word again.

XXXXXXX

**One Hour Earlier**

"_Jason, step back. Let us try some more," Robin said._

_He kissed Carly's lips and then laid her back down. Everything happened quickly. With only a few minutes passing since they told him in the hallway that she was gone._

_Jason ran his shaking hands through his hair as he watched them shock her again._

"_Carly, please," he whispered, while looking up. "Its too soon for us to be over."_

_Suddenly a machine started to beep. Her heart was beating again._

_XXXXXXXXXX_

**Jason's tone **was lethal when he went on, "I'm going to kill your brother. Jerry won't ever be able to hurt her again, count on that. You can see her one last time, while she's unconscious. Say your good-byes."

Jax let out a short harsh gasp at those words and then exploded with anger. "You think you control everyone and everything, Morgan? You don't. The ring on her finger is from me. You could have put one there but you didn't have the balls to step up and be who she begged you to be. You aren't her husband. You aren't the father of her children. You aren't the one she stood in a church with and made vows or who she plans to grow old with. Because you said no.

"Well, I'm not a fool, Jason. I didn't need to be asked twice. I might have let my love for my brother temporarily blind me but I was an idiot for a few months. You broke her heart every day for eleven years. And every single person in this town knows that. One look in her eyes says it all. But you still manage to pretend like you don't see it while claiming to know her so damn well. Do the right thing for once in your pathetic life, Jason, and _you _say_ your_ good-byes to Carly."

Jason grabbed Jax and threw him against the wall again. "Never."

"Take your filthy hitman hands off me."

"She's leaving you. Accept that. Or your mother will end up short two sons, instead of one."

Jax shook his head. "You don't get it, do you? How friggin sad." A bitter laugh escaped his lips. "You don't even know."

Jason took a step back. "What the hell are you talking about? Stop wasting my time. I have to go check on Carly. I told you the deal so get right with it and get your worthless ass up out of this hospital where I, at least, don't have to worry about Carly waking up to see the husband that fed her to the wolves."

"She's in love with me," Jax's voice was low and firm."Maybe not more than you but enough. Carly makes up her own mind. She going to pull through this, I just know she is, and she will be coming home with me. You can't get in the way of that. You're lucky she even calls you her best friend anymore. When what you really are to her is a constant reminder she's not good enough. You think she doesn't feel that every time you push her away? But me...I'm the man who took her as is and loved her anyway. Who do you think will win? Don't answer. Cause the contest is already over."

Jax walked off, leaving Jason filled with a heart stopping fear that there was a chance the man was right.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Twenty minutes later_, Jason stood outside Carly's room in the ICU, watching her through the glass. Jax had come and gone, for now.

Sonny and Spinelli were next to Jason.

"Whatever you need," Sonny said to him. His tone was devastated but also completely pulled together. For once, Sonny would be the strong one for Jason. "I'm here."

"I know," Jason said.

"The Valkryie," Spinelli sputtered, through tears.

Jason clamped a hand onto the younger man's shoulder.

He said to Sonny. "I need you to track down Jerry. I can't leave Carly but I don't want the trail on him going cold."

"Done."

Sonny's eyes lingered on Carly for moment. Machines were hooked to her, breathing for her. There was talk about her having possible brain damage from prolonged lack of oxygen.

Sonny whispered to her, "You fight."

Then he turned and walked off.

Spinelli spun away from the glass, unable to see the image of Carly so fragile for another moment. He cried, "I should have protected her from The Unhinged One."

"No, you did nothing wrong. This isn't on you."

Spinelli's bloodshot eyes met Jason's. "She won't leave us, right?"

Jason pressed his lips together, sucking a breath in through his nose, as he tried to hold it together.

"I have a job for you," Jason said.

"Anything."

"Go to Sam's new apartment, get her and both of you stay with Alexis. I'll send guards. Don't leave the lake house for anything until further notice. I can't worry about you, too, right now."

Though Sam had broken up with him while he was in prison because she felt he didn't let her in as much as he did Carly, Jason still wanted to know she was safe. His mind was on overload and he couldn't spend extra time worrying about anyone but Carly.

"You would trust me with Sam and her Goddess mother and sisters when I let you down already?"

"You never let me down. Or Carly. She would never say that, believe me."

Spinelli nodded and soon he was heading for the elevator.

Jason took the stairs to the roof to use his cell phone. "Max, I only have a minute so don't interrupt. Jerry went after Carly tonight and she's in the hospital. It's bad, man...real bad. I want you and Milo to stay with the boys, night and day. They sleep, you take shifts watching them. Don't let them out of your sight. Carly is counting on you, understand?"

After a moment he responded to Max, "I know she's strong. I know...but still...she's so hurt, Max. Just go to the boys now and don't tell them anything about this. If Micheal figures it out you call me right away, okay? Thanks."

He hung up and hurried back downstairs.

Monica stood outside of Carly's room.

Jason stopped in his tracks when he saw the grim look on his mother's face. "Is she..."

"Still handing on."

He nodded.

Monica whispered, "Oh, son," and then she was opening her arms to embrace him. Jason stood rigidly still for about five seconds and then, gratefully, moved close to her for a hug.

_**(I'm alright, I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe**_

_**I'm alright, I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe**_)

"Go in and sit with her," Monica urged. "Tell her what you need to."

"Don't talk like this is the end. It can't be...I don't accept that."

Monica nodded in a way that said, _You don't have to...yet._

Jason walked into Carly's room. She looked like someone else. Not tough and abrasive, lacking her normal fire and tenacity. She was broken. And that broke him.

He sunk down onto the floor, leaning his back against the wall. "I don't know how to save you this time."

(_** I can't ask for things to be still again.  
**_

_**No,**_

_**I can't ask if I could walk**_

_**through the world in your eyes.**_

_**  
Longing for home again.**_

_**  
Home is a feeling I buried in you.**_

I'm alright, I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breatheI'm alright, I'm alright

_**  
It only hurts when I breathe) ( Melissa Etheridge)  
**_

Saving her, it was the driving force behind his life. He wished he had just walked out of that trial now. Carly needed him- what else was there to consider?

But she would have wanted him to stay. To get himself out of that murder rap and not end up behind bars, where he could never touch her again.

Still he would take that fate, in an instant, if it would make Carly whole again.

"It's not over," Jason told her. "I made up my mind a long time ago...I won't let go of you twice in one lifetime. You can't leave because I plan on hanging on so tight that even God won't be able to rip you away from me."

Another minute passed where the only noise in the room were machines hissing and beeping in an way that made Jason's skin crawl.

"I know I said it was always up to you, Carly. It was your choice who and what you wanted for your life and that I would help you get it but this time...I got to make it _my_ choice. You can't give up. You need to stay here and...keep loving me...you don't have to try to stop loving me like you said to Jerry earlier. I never could stop wanting you...but more than that I need you... I really hope some part of you knows that and its worth staying here for..."

His body shook when he told her, "I got to have you here loving me."

_**(Home**_

Home is a feeling I buried in you,

_**that I buried in you**_

I'm alright, I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe)

Jason sat with his back pressed against the wall, his eyes filled with tears, when Bobbie ran into the room.

He had left her a message earlier and she must have just gotten it. He knew the sound of his voice choking out _"I'm calling because... Carly...she's been hurt..." _on her voice mail must have terrified the woman, and her eyes showed every bit of her fear now.

But Bobbie didn't break down and cry. She squared her shoulders and set in for a fight.

She walked over to Carly and touched her arm. "Hey, baby, your mama is here. You need to rest for now and then, when you are good and strong again, wake up and tell me who did this to you. I'll get your Uncle Luke after them. You know he'll do it too. Anything for a Spencer and no matter how much you call yourself Carly Corinthos you will always be Caroline Spencer to us."

She bent down and kissed Carly's forehead.

Then she walked over to Jason. He slowly got to his feet. He knew he needed to comfort her, though it was near impossible to consider anyone else's grief when his was this strong.

Jason said "She's fighting. She'll make it."

"You know my daughter has always thought the world of you, Jason, and I know you feel the same about her. She wouldn't want you to be alone during this. If you need anything..."

"All I need is Carly to not leave us."

Bobbie nodded.

For a long time they were both quiet, there was time to talk about Jerry, revenge and justice later on, for right now all they could think about was how desperate they both were to have Carly survive.

Jason thought about the look that would be in Micheal's eyes if he had to tell him Carly was gone forever. He thought about how Morgan wouldn't believe it, or even understand, that his mother could never hug or kiss him again. He imagined hearing _"Why didn't you save her, Uncle Jason?"_

Bobbie touched his leather jacket, drawing him out of his daze.

"Don't fall apart, Jason. I know its going to be hard. But Carly won't think coming back is worth anything at all if you aren't here, whole and strong and waiting for her. She wouldn't be able to stand thinking she was the reason you lost your mind."

He nodded. But every second that went by Jason wondered how he could live without Carly, and who he would be if she didn't wake up.

He'd still be the man in love with her, he knew that, and he would also be more lonely than was possible to stand.

Bobbie pulled him into a hug. "Believe in her. Believe she is coming back."

"She has to. I...need her, Bobbie."

_**(I'm alright, I'm alright  
It only hurts when I breathe, when I breathe**_

_**  
Yeah, it only hurts when I breathe, when I breathe  
Oh ,it only hurts when I breathe) ( Melissa Etheridge)**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**Two days later**, Jason barricaded himself in Carly's room.

Patrick had talked Jax into taking her off life support. Though she had brain activity, she couldn't breathe on her own.

Jason sat on the edge of her bed. "I don't want you to worry. Don't be scared. No one is coming through that door to hurt you."

He rubbed her hand.

Every time he touched her, Jason wondered if it would be the last time.

He brought his gun with him today when he came to the hospital. He told himself it was in case Jerry showed up but a little dark corner of his mind wondered if it was in case of something else.

Living without her had never really been an option. He failed at it once, and decided to never attempt it again.

He longed to see her smile, to see her eyes light up, to be the one that made her happy.

The words Jax said to him ran over and over in his mind. Maybe Jason had let Carly down by running away from their love, he felt like he let himself down, he knew that much. But this couldn't be the price he had to pay. Losing her already?

They had barely gotten started. A love like theirs took decades before the fire even started to dim.

He had been foolish to expect so much time, but he had. Hell, it took him over three years to even admit he loved her and now eight years after that he could only say it aloud when no one else but her was around.

Half the people he knew didn't even believe he liked Carly, and most of the other half were convinced his feelings for her were unhealthy. Too intense. Dangerous. And Carly wasn't worth all that- in the minds of many.

Jason didn't have to analyze who Carly was to him. He knew he needed her, loved her, and would always put her first. He also knew if they started sleeping together again he might not be able to stay in control enough to keep their lives safe. She made him feel crazy.

Being in control used to seem important. It didn't now. He had lost all of his ability to control the situation. All he could do was sit and wait, hold her hand and hope.

Pray, pray, pray. Ask God to overlook their sins. Ask Carly to breathe.

"I know you can do it," he told her. "You can breathe. You want to be able to get out of this hospital. This place is too confining. That's one of the things we always agreed on. We hate this place. Wake up so we can leave it together. What do you say, Car?"

He leaned closer to her. "I am begging you..."

POUND. POUND.

"This is the Chief of Staff, Dr. Ford. Open this door immediately or I will contact the authorities."

That threat meant nothing to him. Lucky had put a APB out for Jerry but beyond that nothing was being done to bring that man to justice. Jason had no faith in the PCPD, and none of them were going to drag him away from Carly.

Jason bent to kiss Carly's hand, as if he didn't hear the angry demands being shouted at him.

"It's late in the evening," Jason spoke instead of sang the words "she's wondering what clothes to wear." His voice was barely audible.

"Do you hear me, Mr. Morgan?!"

Jason fixed the cover over Carly. "She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair."

Dr. Ford said, "This is a serious matter. You are comprising patient care and that is not something I will overlook."

"And then she asks me, _Do I look all right_? And I say, _Yes, you look wonderful tonight_," Jason said to her in a soothing tone.

She had always loved this Eric Clapton song. It used to be playing when he came in from work when she lived with him. Jason knew Carly probably thought he didn't remember such things, but he did. He remembered it all.

Jason went on, "We go to a party and everyone turns to see... this beautiful lady that's walking around with me. And then she asks me, _Do you feel all right_? And I say, _Yes, I feel_..."

With tears rolling over his cheek he laid his head onto her stomach. "Oh, Carly, I just don't know...is this it for us? I think I'd follow you anywhere..."

POUND. POUND.

Jason whispered, "I know I can't stay here without you..."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Emily rushed off the elevator as Dr. Ford was beating on Carly's door. Some orderlies and members of the security team were there trying to push it open.

"Wait!" she cried. "Don't. I'll talk to him."

Dr. Ford said, "He's completely unreasonable and could be armed. I should just call the cops now."

He yelled through the door, "The police are on their way, Morgan."

Dr. Ford stormed off. Emily sent the others away.

"Jason?"

Silence.

"Jason?"

She heard him moving around.

Emily asked, "Will you please let me in?"

"Is she going to wake up?"

The tone of his voice made her shivers shoot up her spine. It was more desperate than she ever heard her brother sound before

Emily said, "Let me in now."

"She's not, is she?"

Emily had never heard her brother sound like this before. Even in the worst crisis he held it together, and made her believe it would all be okay. She wanted to do that for him now, but wasn't sure she could. She said, "We have to keep praying for a miracle."

Silence.

"Jason!"

Silence.

"Do you have your gun in there? Because if you do you should get rid of it before the cops show up. Even if it is legally registered the hospital security will ban you from coming back if they find out you brought a loaded weapon in here."

"Tell me the truth, even if it hurts, Emily." Jason went on, "Tell me if she has any chance at all?"

Silence.

"Emily?"

She ran the odds in her head, thought about the case studies, the probabilities, about what she had learned so far in her classes. Worse case. Best case. All the in-betweens. She thought about lying to him.

"Open the door, please," Emily begged.

Jason said, his voice teary, "I need to stay here with her...for her...and to tell Micheal I did that. You get that, right? I can't walk out on her now. I can't tell her boys I let anyone give up on their mother."

"She could still make it," Emily said, her words flying out quickly. "She could. No one could know for sure. You and Carly together, I've never seen anyone beat you when you're a team. You were always your best version of you with her."

"No..."

"Yeah, Jason, yeah you were. Be that now. Let me in and let me talk Jax into believing its too soon to give up. He only is doing what he thinks is right but he doesn't know Carly like you do...hell, Jason, I think that woman would punch out the devil to get back to you. She's going to pull through. She will. This is Carly we are talking about here. Never underestimate her."

Emily pressed her ear to the door. "I can't help her if you won't let me in."

XXXXXXXXXXX

**He opened the door**. Standing with his back against the wall, his eyes wild with worry, he let Emily examine Carly.

"The same man," Jason said " that held you hostage did this."

"I know."

"I have to find him."

"You will."

Dr. Ford and the cops came rushing in. Emily hurried to stand between them and Jason. She started to smile and charm Cruz, Lucky and Mac. Soon it was all chalked up to a misunderstanding.

No one said a word about the look in Jason's eye. But Ford went off to find Dr. Winters or Monica. Because, he knew, someone had to talk Jason off the ledge before they ended up with two patients that would most likely not recover.

XXXXXXXXXXX

**Jason was glad when they all left, **and he could be alone with her once more. But only five minutes later, Jax strolled in.

The man looked distraught. He had stopped shaving and his clothes were wrinkled. They glared at each other.

"Leave," Jason said.

"I need to...say some things to her..before..." Jax's words were stilted and filled with pain he tried to not show.

It didn't soften Jason even an inch. Nothing would as long as Carly was in a hospital bed.

"Nothing. Not a word." Jason forced him back into the hall. "You want to clear the air then go find Jerry to do it with. You need a shoulder to cry on, try Alexis. You got feelings take them somewhere else. Carly isn't a part of your world anymore."

"That isn't for you to say."

"I said it. And until Carly wakes up and says different, its decided."

Jax shook his head in disgust. "You are trying to fight me to avoid looking at yourself. At what you did that put Carly in this situation where she had to justify her love for me...because you would never back off enough to let her get over you. You didn't want that but you didn't want her either. Now you hate yourself and instead of facing that you want to hate me. You want to make me the enemy when all I did was love Carly, and in the process all you are doing is keeping me away from her during the last bit of time we have left...Carly may have wanted you to choose her once, to stand up for her like this, but now she wants me. And if she was awake she would tell you that, and you know its true, Morgan."

"You want to talk about what I know is true?" Jason pushed at his chest. " I know Carly wanted you to choose her _over _Jerry but you didn't. She might forgive that. I never will."

"I don't need your forgiveness. And Carly damn sure don't need anything from you now."

They stood eye-to-eye.

"I'm going to try very hard not to hurt you," Jason said, his fist clenched and unclenched "But don't be surprised if that doesn't last too much longer."

He went in the room and closed the door. Jason's breath were coming in fast, hard gasps. He took a moment to calm down before he took Carly's hand between two of his.

He leaned over and whispered in her ear. "You always said you'd choose me in an instant. I hope you meant that. Choose me. Come back, Carly. Its just not any good here without you."

Jason sat back down, never taking his eyes off her, and continued his bedside vigil. No where else in the world mattered to him right now...just sitting here, waiting on his girl.

_**(So baby I will wait for you.**_

_**Cause I don''t know what else I can do.**_

_**Don't tell me I ran out of time  
if it takes the rest of my life,**_

_**  
**_

_**baby, I will wait for you.**_

_**If you think I'm fine it **_

_**just ain't true.**_

_**  
I really need you in my life  
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you) ( Elliot Yamin)**_

_Note- this whole story is inspired by my favorite Jarly youtube video. It is set to the song mentioned above - Wait for You. That video also has Carjax moments in it._

_Thanks for reading,_

_Sara_


	5. Chapter 5

**Note**- _Lucky's life is the only part of this story that is AU. His life is different due to the fact that Liz does not exist as far as this story goes_. _Either does that Irina person/thing_. _Also keep in mind the medical stuff is not meant to be realistic_.

_The second section of this chapter was written for _Jarly Fan_. Though it is slightly different than what was requested in the review._

**Chapter Five**

**Days passed **and tests were conducted. Emily convinced Jax to keep Carly on the ventilator for a few more days. When she came off of it Carly started to breathe on her own but was still in a coma.

Jason lived basically inside of her room. He showered and changed clothes in the adjoining bathroom.

He left her only to make phone calls to the boys, his guards or Sonny. Spinelli came to visit everyday, bringing Lulu with him sometimes, or a card from Milo, flowers from Max, or food so that Jason might eat something. To keep Jason from worrying about him Spinelli traveled with two bodyguards at all times.

Bobbie would sit with Carly and talk to her like she was awake, saying all the things Jason would have never thought about telling her like gossip and what was going on with her favorite reality TV shows.

Jason begged, pleaded, and even tried threatening Carly to wake up. "_I won't forgive you if you leave me," _he said at four am one night when he was desperate for her to open her eyes.

Nothing worked and he started to worry that she was lost to him forever. The part of his mind that could still think at all didn't want to process what that would mean for him if it was true, so he kept asking her to come back to him. He kept telling her he needed her here. Jason kept saying what he held in for way too long "_I'm in love with you." _

It didn't bring her back.

_I need you, Carly. You aren't optional for my life; you're necessary for me to function._

_**Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone.**_

_****_

I'm all out of love.

_**I'm so lost without you.**_

_**  
I know you were right- believing for so long.**_

_**  
I'm all out of love.**_

_**What am I without you?**_

_**  
I can't be too late to say I was so wrong**_) ( Air Supply)

XXXXXXXXX

**Later that day**

"I wonder if you can hear me at all," Jason said.

His voice was despondent. She hated that. Much worse than being trapped in this otherworldly place- neither there or here, just dark and away from all the people she loved and needed- was hearing him sound so lost.

He needed her.

Other people might not think Jason Morgan needed anything. That he was hard and cold and too detached to ever truly love someone. But Carly knew he needed her, maybe even more than she needed him. Sometimes she thought that was true. Other times she didn't know what was true anymore.

Was she dead already and he was talking to her grave? Or was this what it felt like it was? Another damn coma.

Carly heard her family whispering words of encouragement, all so sad and sweet. Jason sounded that way sometimes and other times he was just plain pissed off or frustrated or terrified. Those moments Carly fought harder than she had before to rise out of this fogginess and wake up. She pushed past the crazy images that darted through her mind- one moment Micheal was taking his first steps or Jason was with her in Lila's rose garden, and the next she was looking at Morgan graduating college and Micheal holding his own son while Jason snapped a picture but she wasn't anywhere around- Carly tried to open her eyes and come back to him but it seemed out of her control.

For a short time she even drifted into this bright light filled peaceful place...but then heat seared her, warming her very soul, and she could feel Jason's lips on hers and hear him saying _"Its too soon for us to be over,_" and then she was here, in the dark...not with him, not with God. Stuck in between.

"Do you know I'm...scared to do this life thing without you?" he asked her now. "I don't think I can pull it off. You always said I could do anything but...you were wrong. I could do anything for you...but not without you...how will we raise those boys without you? How will I tell them I let you die?"

His fear made her ache. Even here, in this distant place without a name, she could feel his pain, loss, and heartache. She felt every bit of his hurt and all she wanted to do was take it away from him.

She went cold, fear gripped her, he wasn't touching her anymore. _Jason...Jason...don't leave me...please...I'm still here...don't give up on me...JASON!_

_Shh. Calm down_, _Caroline_.

Carly didn't know where that voice came from. It wasn't like the others, it wasn't outside of her. It was there, in the darkness, a soothing presence.

_He would never leave you, never again. You know that_. _He hated himself and his life when he left town, when he left you. Jason will never choose to be away from you again._

She did know that. It was the one thing that made her able to get through her life. To be strong enough to get out of that mental hospital, get out of her last marriage to Sonny, believe she could be a good mom and a good wife to Jax. Because Jason said she could.

Was this God agreeing with her?

_You think God is a woman? You would. The women rule our family- even if the men don't know it._

Peace flooded through Carly. She figured out who this voice belonged to. Ruby.

She hadn't known her well during her life, but that didn't change how filled with tough but obvious love Ruby's tone was right now.

_Are you going back to that man or not? I think its time. Don't you? _

There was nothing more Carly wanted than to wake up and have Jason's eyes staring back at her. But she didn't know how to do that. It seemed out of her control. No matter how hard she fought she couldn't get out of this darkness.

_You heard what he said. You know what he is offering. Spencers don't hide. So if you want him, Carly, you better go get him._

XXXXXXXXXXX

Carly moaned.

Jason jumped out of the chair he had pulled up to her bedside and leaned over her. He ran his hands down her arms. "Hey, there, can you hear me? I'm here. I'm right here. I won't leave you."

Her eyes fluttered open.

He held his breath. They had warned him about brain damage but nothing would be known until she was awake.

Their eyes locked in on each other. Hers were confused but then light came into them. The tiniest of smiles curves her lips.

"Ja-_son_." Her tone was filled with happiness and love.

His breaths started to come out in gasps. "Oh. Hey. You're okay, Carly."

"Yeah?"

"You're still here with me, so yeah."

For a second she seemed filled with contentment at that answer, instantly believing him but then, like a dam broke, distress filled her eyes and she tried to sit up. "Jerry! He had me! He thought I didn't love Jax. What happened? Where's my husband?"

Her fear filled eyes slammed into Jason.

Carly cried, "He didn't hurt Jax, did he? Jason. Jason. JASON. Please tell me..."

"Jax is fine." He forced her to lay down. Jason smoothed down her hair and then took her hand. "I don't want you moving around."

"But-" she struggled to get out of bed.

"Carly! Stay still. I'm getting a doctor."

She wouldn't let go of his hand. "In a minute. Just...stay here."

Jason sat on the edge of her bed. She looked at him with her huge eyes filled with devotion. Long minutes passed where he spoke softly to her, explaining how long she had been unconscious. She took it in and then started to sit up again, moving slower this time.

"Wait," Jason said with panic in his eyes. "Stop trying to move around, please."

"I'm okay. I just need..." and then she was reaching out to hug him, all the IV's in her arms were drug along with her but she didn't seem care.

Jason pulled Carly close. She sighed. _Man, I missed that sound_, he thought.

She eased away from him and laid back down.

Carly said, "I knew that crazy asshole gave me too much of those drugs. He wouldn't listen to reason...he said I married Jax under false pretenses and he was sending a recording to him to prove my guilt. That's how you found me?"

Jason nodded. His heart was racing. She was back. She was just like herself. He needed this more than anyone could ever know or understand.

Her tone was filled with worry when she asked "Does Jax know what his brother did? What I said? That I went off with Jerry to try and help you?

"Yes."

Carly started shaking her head. "He can only accept so much, Jason. There is a limit. He's so good to me but even good men aren't perfect."

"This isn't the time to think about Jax."

A moment passed. Jason kept rubbing his thumb over her hand, lulling her into relaxing.

She asked, softly, "How hurt am I? The truth."

"I don't know. But you will recover, all the way. I'll see to it."

"Always saving me." She smiled."Sorry, I put you through so much, Jase. I just wanted you to get cleared of those...hey, you're here. Did the jury find you-"

"Innocent on all charges. I guess Lorenzo is alive and living it up in Venezuela."

"Looks that way."

He gave her a small grin. "You go too far sometimes but I know you did it all for me."

"Nah, for me," Carly argued. " I need to keep you by my side."

"You have me."

Her eyes searched his. "Jase."

"Yeah."

"Thanks for being here right now."

She said it like it was good of him to take the time, like it was a gift he gave her. But for Jason he wouldn't have been able to think straight enough to ride his motorcycle home, let alone work or do anything else, not with her laying here needing him. There had been no choice but to stay, to be right here with her for as long as it took to get her back.

Carly went on, "And thank you for not being mad- or _that_ mad, at least- that I didn't stay away from Jerry like you told me too."

At the sound of that man's name, Jason tensed. He let go of her hand and stood up, giving her a slight nod to say that he wasn't upset about that anymore. "I'm going to find a doctor to take a look at you."

Before he walked away, Jason bent over and kissed her cheek. Carly sighed again. It was a sweet sound of simple pleasure.

Their eyes met again, as he pulled away.

"Truth serum. God." Carly rolled her eyes. "He could have just asked me, you know? Its not like...I ever lied about it. No one asks anymore. Everyone knows."

Her voice was shaking but her words held no doubts. "I'm in love with you."

Tears pricked the back of Jason's eyes. Her words washed over him, convincing him more than anything else that she was completely back and still just as much his as ever.

Carly went on, "But that doesn't make me a liar for marrying Jax. I love my life with him. I just hope I have one to go back to now that Jerry is dead."

Jason quickly jerked his eyes away. "Be right back."

If Carly knew Jerry was still alive she would start begging for Jason to spare his life. Jason did not want to hear that because this time letting Jerry live was not an option.

Any man that could hurt Carly that severely deserved to rot in the deepest, darkest levels of hell and Jason was going to love sending Jerry Jacks right there.

The bigger problem, as Jason saw it, was convincing Carly that when she left this hospital she wouldn't be going back to her house or her husband. She would be coming home with Jason, for good.

XXXXXXXXXX

**Jason was standing **outside her room, as the doctors examined her, when Lucky Spencer walked up.

It wasn't the first time he stopped by to peek in on his cousin after his shift at the PCPD ended and before he went home to his loving -if somewhat loud and wild- wife, Gia Campbell.

"How she's doing, man?" asked Lucky

"She woke up." Jason knew his voice was filled with emotion- the last edges of fear dissolving into relief and joy.

Carly wasn't all that close to Lucky, Luke, or even Lucas. But each one would kill anyone who messed with her, and each one had been praying for her to live.

"That's fantastic, Jason," Lucky said. Then asked, "How are you holding up?"

Jason shook his head in a way that said, _Don't worry about me. _But he could feel it all hitting him in that moment.

"I could have lost her. It came so close," he breathed out. "So damn close. Too close."

His jaw clenched as Jason fought to gain control of his emotions.

"No," Lucky said "My cousin wouldn't leave you. Its not in her_ plan_."

Jason smiled at how he drug out the last word. "Yeah, you're right about that one."

After a moment, Lucky asked "You start making calls yet?"

Jason looked at him, just realizing that he hadn't.

"No problem. I can do it," Lucky said. "You just stick by her side. We both know Carly gets a little crazy whenever you're too far away from her."

Lucky nodded at him and left.

Jason stepped back over to the doorway and looked in on the doctors who were examining Carly. No matter what they said, Jason would believe she was going to make a full recovery. She would fight hard to see that happen, if that is what it took, and he would not leave her for even a moment while she did.

He only hoped she wouldn't tell him it wasn't his place to be there, that Jax belonged with her now. Jason could live with a lot of compromises in his life but having her go back home with Jax wasn't one of them.

Carly was sitting up in bed. Looking around the doctor, she caught his eyes.

Silently he spoke to her, _I can't trust anyone but me to take care of you anymore- to love you like you should be loved. Like I love you._

Next chapter- Jax shows up.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

An hour after Carly woke up, Jason heardfootsteps running down the hospital corridor before he turned his head and saw the man hurrying towards him.

Jason's eyes darkened, filling with an unchecked anger, and he stepped in front of the door to Carly's room.

Jax nearly ran him over but stopped mere inches in front of him. "Don't try it, Morgan."

A low simmering anger hissed through Jason's vein. If he took a few minutes to sit down and think about it maybe he wouldn't blame Jax for Jerry's action, but Jason wasn't in the mood to be logical these days. His grip on his own sanity was a tenuous thing at best during the days that Carly was unconscious, and now that she was awake again all Jason could think was that he had to protect her.

No other man in this town, hell in the whole world, needed Carly as much as Jason did. That gave him all the permission he ever needed to push everyone else- even her own husband- back and stand as a shield between her and every danger that came at her.

Jason's jaw tightened. In a tense whisper, meant for Carly not to overhear through the open door, Jason said "Turn around and leave before I turn you around and make you leave."

Jax glared at him and just as he started to move closer to Jason, Carly called out "Honey, you're here. What took you so long? Get in here."

Jason shook his head in frustration but didn't move.

Jax said "She wants me."

A long moment passed where the two man glared at each other.

"Jax!" Carly called out, her tone sounding a little annoyed and confused at what was keeping him from coming in.

Jason stepped to the side, and Jax smiled. He bumped into Jason's shoulder, purposefully, as he brushed past him. Jax closed the door, leaving Jason as the outsider in the hallway.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

**Jason paced**, waiting for Jax to come out of the room, as he thought about how to get the man out of Carly's life for good.

Never before had Jason actively tried to break up a relationship she was in but now he only knew one thing- she needed to be with him, live with him, love him. Jason wanted her back- all the way- and nothing would get his way, as long as she wanted the same thing.

Only by Jason's side could he be sure she wouldn't be hurt, broken, tortured and made to suffer the way Jax had allowed Jerry to do. If Jax had stayed in town, with his wife, none of this would have happened. Jason would never run around the country chasing down someone else when Carly needed him here- the thought was unimaginable to him. She came first.

Carly had been his top priority for a decade now. Her happiness. Her children. Her security. Her dreams. That is what he lived for, even though he couldn't live with her for most of that time.

He stayed close, he never let her get too far away from him, never let her forget about him and how he would come and save her in an instant. Jason wanted her to know how important she was to him. To know that working her plans, and schemes, and taking risks wasn't worth it because if something happened to her- where would that leave him? Not wanting to go on without her was the clear answer, he knew it and hoped she did too.

XXXXXXXXX

**When Jax stepped **back into the hallway, he was smiling. Jason ignored his smug expression and headed into her room.

Carly smiled at him and Jason felt just as whole as he did the first time she told him _"I need you. I can never live without you in my life again_."

That day he had been amazed by her, by the depth of her loyalty and commitment to him and by how it was easy for her to admit she needed him. She stole his breath away then, and he was still breathless now.

_**(I saw you dancing out the ocean  
running fast along the sand**_

_**  
A spirit born of earth and water  
Fire flying from your hands )**_

Carly started to talk fast, trying to smooth it all over. "He apologized. He's really sorry for leaving me to deal with Jerry alone but of course he couldn't have known Jerry would come back here and Jax felt he had to go look for him. It wasn't like Jax had a choice, not really."

_There is always a choice_, Jason thought. He'd made enough devastating ones to know that much.

Carly went on, "I told him I get it, you know? Jerry was his brother..."

Jason realized Jax hadn't mentioned that Jerry was alive still. Or maybe Jax didn't know.

Carly tried to explain away her husband's actions. "And Jax had to try and save him, even if he couldn't. It was too late for Jerry the day they drug him out of that wedding to my mother. Something broke in him and it couldn't be fixed..." she looked down "Well, we know how that is, Jase."

He sat on the edge of her bed, then reached up to tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear. Carly's eyes slowly rose and met his.

"We're nothing like Jerry."

"You know what I mean, though."

Jason forced himself to lean back from her. He wanted to pull her close, hold her for hours, and reassure himself she was truly going to recover, going to live to hug him and fight with him and for him again and again for years.

But he didn't want to crowd her, to let her feel his neediness and then start to worry about him. It was a dance they did often. He'd try and fix things for her, she'd try to do that for him. They didn't know how to be any other way because they needed each other to be happy in order to be happy themselves.

(_**In the instant that you love someone  
in the second that the hammer hits  
reality runs up your spine  
and the pieces finally fit)**_

Jason eased a little away and said "Don't even think about Jerry."

"It wasn't that bad...what happened." The way her eyes moved from side to side told him she was lying.

He felt the old tidal wave start to roll through him. _Here she goes again_, he thought, _but this time it will not work_.

He thought of the words she used in the past, the rationalizations:

_Don't blame Sonny. You know me. I pushed him too far._

_Don't kill Ric. Sonny can't deal with that. I can let it go._

_Don't go after Lorenzo. He cares about me. I can handle him._

And now she was working to protect Jax, and would probably do the same for Jerry, should she find out the man was still somewhere breathing air he had to right to anymore. She'd push down her own rage to spare Jax anymore pain or guilt or consequences.

Carly said, "Jerry wasn't trying to kill me, Jase. He wasn't! He didn't believe I loved Jax...but I do. I couldn't lie, not with all those drugs in me. Jerry knew you'd go after him for what he did but he wanted to give Jax the truth. And Jax wanted to save Jerry's life. They loved each other. Its not right to make Jax pay for his brother's actions."

Jason tried to steel himself against the soft, desperate tone of her voice in order to do what he knew had to be done.

It made him sick how Carly twisted herself into a pretzel trying to explain away the obvious. If anyone but Jerry did that to her, she'd be asking to watch Jason shoot him. But for Jax she was willing to let it go, and probably was upset she had been in a coma while she thought Jerry was murdered. Because if not she would have begged Jason to spare him- not for her, for her husband. She'd bear the pain and memories and injuries without complaint- for the man she loved.

Jason wasn't about to watch that, not again. Nothing would keep him from being the man who watched Jerry take his last breath.

Carly reached out and took his hand. "I need you to..."

His eyes flashed with a warning.

She pushed on "support me and my marriage."

The magic words.

This time they didn't work. He couldn't let them. But the urge was strong...to do what she needed, despite what he wanted. The desire to live the lie, the appeal in that, was always there but he refused to fall into that hole another time. The easier way was just plain wrong this time.

He had done easy, too many times already, now Jason wanted to do what was right.

_**(There are caravans we follow  
drunken nights in dark hotels  
when chances breathe between the silence  
where sex and love no longer gel)**_

Jason swallowed. "You need rest."

"Jase," the word was soft, and full of begging.

"Lay down, Carly. Sleep."

She let out a frustrated breath but did settled back against the pillows. Jason stood up. He took a step back.

Carly looked fragile to him still. She might be awake and just as stubborn as ever but she was still weak and pale.

"I'm not tired," she protested.

"Just close your eyes. You want to get better, right? Get out of here? You hate it in this place."

"As much as you do. Yeah, I hate being stuck in here but I don't think I will be for much longer cause I feel okay now."

"Good. Now rest."

She watched him closely. Her eyes drifted all over him. He knew she was looking for what he wasn't telling her and Jason feared what would happen the moment she found her answer. Was how he ached for her to be his again written all over his face,? He couldn't be sure.

So many times he thought he gave himself away, that she must know, but even if she did know that wouldn't have changed a thing- back then. But then wasn't now. Now he had enough of letting her go home to another guy, someone who didn't love her half as much as Jason did. That was about to end, if he had anything to say about it.

Carly ordered, "Don't leave me."

He sat down in a nearby chair. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

She nodded, instantly reassured. "I don't want you to worry about me...the worst of this is behind us now, okay?"

"I'll make sure it is."

Carly gave him a small smile. "I never had a doubt you'd come to that warehouse and save me. Even though you were on trial, I knew you'd find a way...you always do. But I don't need to be saved from Jax."

His eyes held hers. "Sleep."

She shook her head at him in a way that said she planned to wear him down later but for now was giving in. Carly closed her eyes.

Jason's gaze drank in her face. He had been staring at her for days, but still hadn't had enough. He doubted he'd ever get enough, or that she would of him. That they would ever be full and done with each other. It just didn't work that way when it came to him and Carly.

And if that meant Jax had to get tossed aside, then so be it. If Jason thought the man was capable of loving her right it might be a different story, but now Jason was convinced Jax would let others come in front of Carly.

Unacceptable.

Jason couldn't risk losing her, so he would have to risk loving her.

_Hell with my fears, hell with the pain, hell with what she could do to wreck me, _he thought, _and to hell with Jasper Jacks._

_**(For each man in his time is Cain  
until he walks along the beach**_

_**  
and sees his future in the water  
a long lost heart within his reach**_

_**And all I ever needed was the one  
Like freedom fields where wild horses run**_

_**  
When stars collide like you and I  
no shadows block the sun**_

_**  
You're all I've ever needed  
Baby you're the one**_( Elton John) 

**Next chapter**- more people visit Carly


	7. Chapter 7

_I am updating twice today. Chapters 7 and 8. They were originally one chapter but I found that to be way too much for one chapter. Thanks for reading. Sorry it has been a while since the last update._

**Chapter Seven**

Jason started having to share Carly. He didn't really like it but knew that most of the visitors made her happy. The few who didn't- like Ric who came sniffing around talking about faked evidence and conspiracy to enable a fugitive charges- Jason ran off quick.

Sonny told the kids about their mother being hospitalized but the two men decided it was best for everyone if the boys didn't see Carly looking so fragile and pale. Sonny came to visit on his own, Max called, Spinelli hung around for hours on end- leaving Logan at the lake house with Goddess sitting duties, Jason didn't even want to ask what Alexis thought of her new houseguests who came there with Sam on Jason's orders. Probably hadn't been a pretty picture but he didn't really care.

Jax showed up often, aggravating Jason more and more each time. Jason had to fight hard to not let Carly see all the contempt he now held for the man. It was like he was seeing Jerry and that damn recording every time Jax walked into a room, it was a flashback of Carly screaming _"No, don't!" _while a gun was aimed at her head.

Whenever Jax left Jason would follow him out in the hall and tell him to never bring his worthless ass back again. Jax didn't listen though. He threw back verbal jabs and ugly truths that always stung Jason more than he let on. The worst one was when Jax held up his hand, pointing at his ring finger, and said "_See this band of gold. It means I will see Carly whenever I want for as long as I want. And you don't get any say it that. If you wanted it to end up different, well, I guess you shouldn't have wasted so much time, should you of, Morgan?"_

If not for Carly being right inside of her room, where she could possibly overhear a scuffle, Jason would have starting punching Jax, right then and there, and not stopped till some of this rage he felt at what was done to Carly was lessened by at least a few degrees.

The loudest visitors to Carly's room all shared one last name: Spencer. Jason took aspirin after they left each and every time. Luke, Tracy, and Lulu never stopped talking from the second they walked in to the second they left, Lucas wasn't much quieter, and Gia Spencer gossiped enough for ten women.

Only Bobbie didn't bother Jason.. Just the look on Carly's face when her mother rushed in the day she woke up from her coma, and then threw her arms around Carly, it was enough to make Jason want to send the older woman flowers. Carly had held on to Bobbie tightly that afternoon, as if she knew how lucky she was to have the chance to hug her at all.

Jason watched from the corner of the room. People- Epiphany, Dr. Ford, Lainey, Monica, Emily- told him to go home and get some sleep. Spinelli offered to stay with Carly, so did Lulu, Lucas and Lucky.

But Jason wasn't going anywhere- he wouldn't leave General Hospital without taking Carly with him.

He hadn't asked her to move in with him yet, but he planned to do it soon. She needed to be by his side...he didn't know much about how to lead a good life, but he knew that. He knew he needed Carly, and her children, with him...he needed his family and Jason was praying they still needed him, too.

(_**Baby why can't we just start over again?**_

_**Get it back to the way it was.**_

_**If you give me a chance**_

_**I can love you right-**_

_**but your telling me it won't be enough? **_

So baby I will wait for you.

_**Cause I don''t know what else I can do.**_

_**  
Don't tell me I ran out of time.**_

_**If it takes the rest of my life,**_

_**baby, I will wait for you.**_

_**If you think I'm fine it just ain't true!**_

_**  
I really need you in my life.**_

_**No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you) **_( Elliot Yamin)

**xxxxxxxxxx **

"You were scared."

The words came four days later, Carly said them to Jason as he stood next to her hospital bed.

Jason still hadn't left Carly's hospital room for more than ten minutes at a time. He had banned the topic of Jerry, saying he wasn't arguing with her while she was sick, and sticking to it even when she started to go on and on about how he needed to be understanding toward Jax and his position in all of this.

Jason could barely contain his desire to toss Jax from the nearest window every time he showed up to see Carly. Instead, Jason stood in the hall and fumed silently until the man left again. Jax seemed unwilling to push Jason too far, probably because he wasn't sure who would win if they forced Carly to pick who she needed by her side more right now.

Carly asked, "You thought I was going to die?"

His eyes held hers. The answer to her question was given without a word being said aloud.

She gave him a small smile. "You should know I wouldn't go and die...I have a lot to live for. I finally got my life together. I know I worried you like crazy this time but I'm fine now. I feel strong now. Even though everything that happened while I was in a coma is fuzzy in my mind now, I do know you never left me. Because you wouldn't do that. And I love you for that. But you can stop hovering now."

"Trying to get rid of me?" he joked, trying to lighten the mood. "Sick of me finally?"

"Never. But you can not stand five feet away from me for the whole rest of my life, Jason." She smiled.

"No?"

"No. You have work, friends, a Spinelli to care for. You can go home. It's okay. I swear to you I'm out of danger now. Back to my old bitchy self. You can stand down."

He shook his head, no.

Carly raised an eyebrow at him, as her eyes roamed all over his face, trying to pull out an answer that made sense. Jason knew that she was comforted to have him by her side for the first few days after she came out of her coma but now she was starting to worry about him more than herself- that he wanted revenge, that he didn't trust Jax to take care of her, that he was filled with pain over seeing her hurt. All that was true, and much more.

A grin spread over Carly's face. "That's sweet. My protector. But, come on, you can't keep this up- not twenty- four seven, at least. I'm going home in a few days. Do you plan on moving in with me and Jax? The bed would be awful crowded." She laughed.

He didn't.

Carly's smile fell away. A moment passed. She studied him and worry darted into her eyes. "Oh, no, Jase. No, no, no.."

He knew she was onto him, the moment had come to face this head on.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

A grin spread over Carly's face. "That's sweet. My protector. But, come on, you can't keep this up- not twenty- four seven, at least. I'm going home in a few days. Do you plan on moving in with me and Jax? The bed would be awful crowded." She laughed.

He didn't.

Carly's smile fell away. A moment passed. She studied him and worry darted into her eyes. "Oh, no, Jase. No, no, no.."

He sat down on her bed. "Don't get upset, okay? Its not good for you to get all worked up."

"You want me to leave Jax, don't you?"

Jason's jaw clenched.

She started to shake her head with confusion. Carly said, "I don't understand. You never did this before...do you really think Sonny was better for me, treated me better, that I was safer or happier with him? You know I was worse off then. Oh, Jase, I get that you were freaked out by what happened...seeing me that way...I know, I do...you should have seen the way I was last year when they told me you might be gone...after that shooting when you went missing. But I refused to believe it...I couldn't lose you and you can never lose me. You can't."

She said the next words slowly, to drive home her point, "I'm right here. I didn't die."

"This time," Jason said. "You came back to me, _this time_."

"Every time."

"Yeah. But not if I leave it up to chance."

"So...you expect me to do what now? Leave my husband and take the boys to live in an armed tower where no one can ever have the opportunity to hurt us again. Don't you think I want that for them and for you? I would love to have all of you protected every moment of your lives but its not possible. I've never hid from the risk before. And you've never tried to run my life. Don't start now."

He let his head roll back and forth on his neck, trying to find the words to tell her that weren't laced with every inch of his heartache.

"I don't want to run your life or make your choice. I don't," he said. "But the thought of you going home with Jax ...it's wrong, Carly. You know it is. If he valued you like he said he was going to before you got married, he wouldn't have left town again to go find Jerry, knowing that left you exposed to anybody who wanted to come at you. That guy doesn't know how to love you or treat you right..."

"That_ guy _is my husband."

Jason simple shook his head in a way that said _Not much of one_.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't. I'm asking you- don't. You can't do this to me...you keep this up and I won't have a marriage for much longer because you know I can't..." her words faded off without finishing her thought.

"What?"

Carly sighed. "This can be fixed. It can all get back to something good. The life I was supposed to have...the future I was banking on when I stood at that alter at Rice Manor. You told me I could do that...that it was the right choice for me...you held my hand and got me through it. You believed in me and Jax that day. I know you did. When you danced with me..." she paused as her eyes bore into him.

The dance.

She knew what it meant, hearing that didn't surprise Jason any but it was the first time she brought it up. She fought dirty some times.

Jason hated that she was willing to do that for Jax but he was willing to fight just as hard - for them, for him and Carly, and their future. Jax was not even a consideration to Jason, not anymore.

Carly went on, "You let me go, Jason. Into my marriage and my new future. You knew I would be happy and get what I always wanted with Jax. All those dreams I thought were lost...he is the man that offered them back to me."

"I know that."

"He screwed up. It doesn't have to be the end of my marriage. He forgave me for sleeping with Sonny. You don't know how much that meant to me...it was huge. I thought it was unforgivable but for him it wasn't. I know Jax loves me...you don't have to understand it for it to be true."

Jason gritted his teeth. He hated listening to her go on about her relationships with other men. It took all he had, over the years, to not tell her to please stop talking to him about that kind of thing: loving and sleeping with guys that were not him. But he couldn't do that. She needed to be able to tell him anything, so he learned to find ways to cope with hearing everything he never wanted to know about her love for the other men in her life.

He said, "I won't tell you to leave him. You know I would never do that."

Her nervousness eased off an inch but not completely.

He picked up her hands, cradling them in his. Jason rubbed her hands, trying to make her calm down.

Jason added, "I want you to relax. Nothing has to be figured out right this second."

Her voice still sounded unsure when Carly said "Please, stop blaming Jax. Let it go."

"I can't."

"_Why?_" the word was tortured, a ragged and desperate plea for him to help her.

It tore at Jason's soul but he knew giving in would be more than he could handle doing right now. That would send her back into Jax's arms...he didn't love her half as much as Jason did...maybe it was too late for Carly to believe in Jason's love but he had to let her know it was there and hers.

"I won't tell you who to love or how to live," Jason said. "All I can tell you is what I think."

She made a sound that warned him not to say it aloud.

But Jason barreled on anyway. "You don't belong with Jax. Its not gonna work out, Carly."

She threw back at him, "Says you."

He nodded.

Her lips jutted out and her eyes flashed with pain. He knew it felt like a betrayal to her that he was withdrawing his support from her marriage, because he knew that she believed she could not make it work if Jason wasn't on her side helping her. He wasn't willing to be part of keeping a marriage together that he had no faith in anymore.

"How can you do this to me, Jason?"

Her words were ones he hoped to never hear from her. It was obvious she felt let down by him.

His eyes drifted close, his head fell forward. Carly gripped his hands even tighter.

She said, "You're letting fear take you to this place. I get that. I know you were terrified for me..." Carly ran her hand through his hair, then gently against his cheek.

"Do you, Carly? Do you really know?" His eyes slowly opened and came up to look into hers.

"I"ve thought you were gone...or done with me...several times before..too many times. Those were moments in my life when I didn't breath. I didn't think. I didn't love anything about myself or this world. I couldn't take comfort in being a mother or someone else's wife or daughter or friend. I only knew you were gone. I only felt empty and abandoned and lost. I get it.

"But you always came home again, Jason. You kept choosing to come back to me. And though I wanted to grab you and never let the world have you back again, to make you only mine forever, I couldn't. I had to let you go out there and live and trust you wouldn't be gone forever. Now its your turn to do that for me."

She pulled him into a hug and rested her head on his shoulder.

Jason let out a long breath. She was telling him exactly what she needed. He hated himself most in life when he couldn't give her what she asked for...but there was times he simply could not. This was one of them.

He moved his mouth against his neck, kissing her pulse point. Jason felt Carly shiver, then she pulled back a little, her curious eyes searching his.

Jason kissed her jaw. She sucked in a breath and when she breathed out she was whispering his name.

His lips brushed a kiss onto her cheek, as he lifted one hand to cup her face.

He could tell she was wondering what motivated this affection, but still it was bordering on simply friendly. Not out of the realm of what they had done before, over the years, when they needed comfort.

Jason whispered, as his mouth moved towards hers, "I love you too much to send you back to Jax."

Too soon for his liking, a mere few moments after he started to kiss her, Carly jerked back. Jason froze in place.

Their eyes locked on each other, hers filled with questions, and his with equal parts insecurity and adoration.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Jason sat on the edge of Carly's hospital bed, listening to her go on about how Jason needed to let her live the life she chose. She compared it to how she couldn't keep him with her every second of every day, despite how she hated the danger of his life or the other woman he was with.

She ended with "And though I wanted to grab you and never let the world have you back again, to make you only mine forever, I couldn't. I had to let you go out there and live and trust you wouldn't be gone forever. Now its your turn to do that for me."

Carly tugged him into a hug. Pressing herself close to him, she silently begged him to be her hero this time like he had in the past.

Jason lived to fill that role but everything inside of him said he had to bring her home with him when she left this hospital, and keep her there for the rest of their lives.

He moved his mouth to kiss her neck, her jaw, her cheek. It was slow and gentle, she shivered and sighed and whispered his name. Jason let the truth slip from his lips, _"I love you too much to send you back to Jax_," and then his mouth connected with hers.

She opened her mouth, but as soon as his tongue slid inside, she pulled back, as if she just realized they had gone too far.

Her hand slid down over his t-shirt, clutching it as she leaned closer to him for a second. She was shaking slightly and then she gently pushed him back a little.

Jason could see her how unsure she was. He wanted to open his mouth and pour out all his feelings for her. But that had never been easy for him. Eleven years after they met and she still left him tongue tied at times.

Their eyes locked on each other, hers filled with questions, and his with equal parts insecurity and adoration.

"What are you doing?" Carly asked "Is this to-"

He knew exactly what she was thinking and said "No. Come on."

"Keep me from going back to Jax? Give me some hope for_ us _so I won't be able to concentrate on him and my life with him. So I think about you instead until he is so sick of me that I'm left alone."

"Slow down, please. You're jumping to conclusions."

"Am I?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

There it was again. The look in her eye that asked him why he was trying to hurt her. It was shocked and sad and full of doubts. Jason hated that he made her feel that way.

His eyes asked her to trust him. "I'm worried about you. About leaving you with Jax. It feels wrong now."

Carly's face softened and she said "I like that you want me safe and happy and with a man who deserves me. Jax does deserve me. But even if you don't think so...that's okay, I guess...I'll hate it and it will make everything a lot harder but I will deal with that...somehow...I don't know how though! Cause I need you to prop me up when I'm unsure. And if you won't..."

Jason couldn't believe that a few minutes after he kissed her, for the first time since that fire that almost stole her away from him, she was talking about some other man. His heart started to sink.

Her eyes searched his for answers.

"Jase," she drug out his name. "You can't hate Jax _this _much, want me away from him _this_ bad, to do_ this_...you hated Lorenzo more. You wanted him dead for years. But you were with Courtney then so...what? I could stay with the wrong man because you wanted to be with her?"

His eyes widened at that statement. Jason knew then that he had made a bigger mess out of things than he ever even realized- and he had always thought he made a pretty damn big mess, but this was worse than he even knew.

"I never told you to stay with Lorenzo. I just stood by your side while you did what you had to do."

"Okay, so do that again."

"I can't!" The words exploded from his mouth. Once again it was the frustrated tone that only slipped out when he felt he couldn't get through to her.

_She must not think I really do want her,_ Jason told himself. _How can she doubt that?_

But the reason was obvious- he had made her doubt that for a decade now.

Jason took a breath, calmed down, and repeated "I can't. I'm sorry, Carly, but I can't. I know that might make your life harder and you think I'm being unreasonable but I know...I just know that if I let you go back to that house with Jax that...I'll lose you for good. Either to some threat he never sees coming or to...this family you are trying to make with him."

(_**You've left me now  
and it's seasoned my soul  
And with every step you take,  
I watch another part of you go..**_.) (Stevie Nicks, If you ever did believe.)

Carly took his hand and said softly, "There will always be room for you in my family...my life...my heart. You have to know that by now. Please don't talk this way. You know I love you so much." Her voice cracked when she asked, " Don't you know that?"

"I do. Yeah...I know that." Jason leaned toward her again.

Carly sucked in a shaky breath.

His eyes held hers, urging her to let this happen. She inched closer to him, in a slow way that said she couldn't resist him.

That fact alone made Jason's blood race through his veins.

(_**One more night  
I'd like to lie and hold you  
Yes and feel...**_

_**  
To make you smile,  
I'd like to be there for you--  
Have you forgotten me?)**_

His lips touched hers. Carly's arms rose quickly to loop around his neck, as she gave in to the temptation, and began to kiss Jason back.

It felt to him like slipping beneath the boiling hot water in a Jacuzzi. Soothing and yet intense. Scalding, erotic, engrossing and addictive. She pulled away first, resting her forehead against his.

"When?"

She didn't have to say more for him to know what she was asking.

"Always."

Carly pulled back. Her eyes searched his, knowing he understood what she had asked, and not quite able to believe his answer. So she asked "When did you start to feel this way_ again_?"

He let out a breath. Jason thought about all the times he didn't tell her all he was feeling for her, and how he created this confusion inside of her. She knew what she felt, how good they were together, and yet he told her they were wrong.

(_**And the days go by  
doing nothing about them**_

_**  
How much time will I have to spend? **_

_**My mind won't rest  
and I don't sleep-  
not even in my dreams.**_

_**If you ever did believe,  
for my sake...**_

_**if you ever did believe...)**_

"You are going to have to talk to me," she said. "I have tried reading your mind for years but I am still not as good at it as I would like to be. So please tell me. When? Was it after you found me at the warehouse? Or during that dance? Or when you took me to get my divorce from Sonny? _When_ did you start to want me back?"

"Always," he repeated. It was true. No matter how many different ways she asked it, the answer would stay the same. " I just didn't think we were an option...I knew I could be your best friend and so I did that. But that doesn't change the fact that your more than just a friend...your inside of me, Carly."

Her face crumpled and she started to cry.

"It's okay," he murmured as he pulled her close again. "Everything is all right now..."

She fell into his arms but cried, "It isn't all right!"

"Shhh. Shh. It is. It will be."

"I'm married."

Those two words cut into like a sword. He wanted to scream_ I don't give a damn, Carly. I don't. Not anymore. You could have died. I can't lie anymore, don't make me! _

But Jason didn't do that. His mouth was dry, his heart in his throat. He pulled back, to look into her eyes once more, and try to let her know he wasn't going to give up easily this time. He begged her to give them one more chance, and if they needed it, another after that and another. To be with him, to love him most, to give up all her other dreams for the one they shared together.

Carly's eyes were huge. They were filled with love, and need, and enough confusion to make Jason fear he might not be the one she went home with after all.

(_**Oh, baby, don't leave me.I'm down on my knees begging you please.Baby, don't leave me. **_

_**  
Did you ever believe?)**_

Note- Remember this is a love triangle and that means Carly does love Jax, in some way. But now it becomes a question of just how much faith does she have left in Jason? Will she just leap out of her current marriage and back into his bed or not?

Hope you keep reading to find out.

Sara


	10. Chapter 10

**The Truth Hurts**

**Chapter Ten**

Jason felt like he spilled his soul in her lap, after kissing Carly twice in the span of ten minutes, and telling her he didn't want her to stay married to Jax. She sat there, with tears in her eyes, not looking like he had just made her life complete- more like he just got them both into a very messy situation.

But she didn't look unhappy, not really. Just very confused. A few moments passed where they only stared at each other, then Carly reached out and took his hand.

Jason let out the breath he was holding.

"Oh, Jase."

No said his name like she did, every time it sounded like _I can't live without you. _He never wondered what was the point of life. Life was hearing her whisper his name, it was holding her while she cried, it was the way her children looked at him- just pure unfiltered love. Life was Carly.

He said, "I'm not trying to mess up your life. You have to believe that. Or trying to force your hand because of everything that happened...you choosing to go off with Jerry, who you knew was insane on a good day and deadly the rest of the time..."

"I did that for you and I would do it again!"

"Thank you but getting hurt for me is ...not something I can live with. Just like I can't live with watching you married to Jax, not anymore. When I saw that recording...you shouldn't have had to explain your feelings to that bastard Jerry or Jax or anyone. Its none of their business."

She smiled slightly. "I think being married to Jax is going to make _all _of this his business."

"I'll tell him. Say that's what you want and he will never come near you again."

"I married him because I fell for him, Jason. It wasn't like with Sonny or Lorenzo. I wasn't _also_ trying to prove something this time."

"Oh yeah?" His tone was disbelieving.

She pouted.

Jason asked, "You wanted to make a new start each and every time you got married. Be better. Someone _different._ You know that is why you keep getting married- more than any love you felt for any of them. But it never works. You're who you are, Carly, and there is nothing wrong with that...why should you have to change for anyone?"

"If I would have changed for you...we would still be together to this day. If I would have stopped being jealous, stopped plotting, stopped acting out and lashing out. You wanted me to change."

"No."

Her eyes narrowed at him.

He went on "I wanted you to relax, _some_. Not get in over your head or go on the attack all the time. Cause I didn't want you hurting yourself by going after people that, in the long run, don't mean anything. But I know who you are and..." He paused. She smiled at him, urging him to say it again.

Jason told Carly, "I am in love with you and I don't think I can even remember back to a time I wasn't."

Her hand shot up to cover her mouth and then, finally, he saw all the relief, and joy, and love he had been waiting for staring back at him.

After a moment she joked, "Did you ask the doctors if I have a head injury?"

He chuckled.

"I could be hallucinating this whole thing."

"Nah," he said as he leaned close to her, letting his lips brush over hers. "You aren't."

Jason looked right into her eyes and said, "I _need_ this. I need you to come home with me. Say you'll do that, Carly."

Her words were murmured, "How can I say that?"

It was his turn to be confused. How strong were her feelings for Jax exactly?

Jason always thought Sonny was the one to worry about. Just when he was sure they were done for good, he'd walk in on them kissing again or Carly would beat down his door with a certain look in her eye that said she was falling back into things with Sonny once more. That look was filled with a lot of emotions- the biggest one guilt.

Jason tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He looked at her for a long moment. She felt like _his. _He needed her to be_ his_. There wasn't supposed to be a question about that. If she honestly loved Jax more than him than the bottom would surely fall out of Jason's world.

"Jase," his name was a caress "I sometimes feel like since the moment I moved into the Quatermaine mansion I have been working overtime to get back to you...to us...to that family that I was trying so hard to save. And most of my struggling all amounted to running in place. Through my time with Sonny and Lorenzo I kept a huge piece of myself back- for you."

Carly looked down then went on, "Just in case you ever came back to me. Both of them hated that and only grudgingly understood. And, in a way, it made them hate me eventually, or at least despise the fact that my love was so compromised. But Jax...it was hard for him...but he did accept your place in my heart because I told him you and I would never be together again. And I didn't think I was lying, Jason. You told me a million times...you told me on the day I married him... I know it was a joke when I asked you to elope with me instead but, you know as well as I do, it wasn't completely a joke."

He nodded.

Carly went on, "I guess I stopped thinking there was any chance you'd change your mind and_ if_ you really have..."

"What do you mean? If?"

She looked back up. "This could be a delayed reaction to watching me die...Robin stopped by yesterday when you went to make a phone call, she told me what you saw...she told me you watched me die and if not for you I wouldn't be here. I don't know what she thought she was accomplishing by telling me. Maybe shoving it in my face that it was obvious you loved me but still didn't want to be with me. Because you can't trust me. Who know what Robin was trying to prove but I'm glad she told me what happened in the ER.

"That had to..." she sucked in a breath. "I could only imagine how you felt, how I would feel if it was you, how I would want to hold on tight to you and not let this crazy world hurt you every again. So is this about that or aboutyou wanting _me_? I need to know when you changed your mind because I can't understand why..."

His tone was frustrated when he told her, "The why is because I love you. Do you not _want _me to?"

More hurt flooded her eyes.

A nurse stepped into the room. She was smiling and started chatting about taking blood work.

"Not now," Carly hissed at the nurse.

Jason stood up. "Yes, now," he told the nurse. Then to Carly, he added, "Your health comes first."

He turned and strolled out of the room, then quickly around a corner in the hallway. His back leaned against the wall. He ran his hands over his face. His heart was beating a mile a minute.

_She has to love me. She has to. She has to still love me the most, _he thought_, I need her back...she has to be in love with me more than Jax_.

XXXXXXXXXX

Jason was standing in the same spot ten minutes later when Spinelli rushed up.

"Where are your guards?" Jason looked around him and then threw up his hands, in frustration, when he saw that Spinelli was, in fact, alone.

"There was no time," Spinelli cried, "We have a problem, Stone Cold. The Jackal must unfortunately report that The Unhinged One has made contact with us once more and this could not bode well for the continued health and well being of all of the members of our family and extended kinships. I mean The Jackal can't fight The Unhinged One alone and protect The Goddess and The Goddess Mother and The Goddess Princesses. Though I do have Muscles standing gaurd to protect them as I ventured out to seek your guidance."

"Please slow down. Now what happened?"

Spinelli pulled a disc out of his laptop bag. "This came to the Penthouse."

"What were you doing back there? I told you to stay put at the Lake House." Jason pinched his nose. He could not have Spinelli grabbed up by Jerry.

The younger man blushed at Jason's concern. "I assure you The Goddess and her family were well looked after by Muscles but Lulu needed to see me...alone...about a delicate matter concerning her and her conflicted feelings for me and the Crabby Commando...so I slipped over to the Penthouse so we could be uninterrupted and that's when I found that this disc was slipped underneath the door..."

"Well, what is it?"

Spinelli gave him a devastated look. "You won't like it."

"Just tell me what it is."

"It shows what he did to Carly ...that night. You shouldn't see this but he tells you a message at the end and it might help you track him down. I could just cue up that part."

"I want to see it all. The whole thing."

Spinelli pulled out his laptop, set in on a nearby cart, and turned it on. He put the disc in. It was of Carly the night Jerry held him in the warehouse. The angle was different than the other disc showed. This must have came from a different security camera in the building.

It picked up after where the last one left off.

"_Put that gun down!" Carly yelled at Jerry. "What makes you so reckless? Makes you act like life is disposable. Don't you get that Jax loves you with all his heart and soul and what you are doing right now is going to break his heart? Let me go and, I swear to God, I will never tell anyone about this. Jason won't come after you. Sonny will never know. And Jax will be spared the truth about how disturbed you are."_

"_How disturbed I am?" Jerry laughed. "The disturbed one around here is you, Mrs. Jacks. You lure men into your dangerous little mob world and let them put themselves between you and bullets, bombs, mayhem and for what? What is Jax's payoff? Being your stand-in until Morgan is done with the pin-up doll. You're a sick little wench and I should have blown up that mansion you got married in rather than let Jax say '_I do'_ to a whore like you. _

"_I plan to spend everyday of the rest of my life loving your brother. How does that make me a whore?"_

"_An emotional whore! Your heart is divided. You spread it all around town and give Jax a little tiny scrap he is supposed to build his whole life around. You disgust me. All that time we were in Venezuela all you could do was beg me to help Jason, save Jason, make it so Jason didn't leave your life forever. I knew then I could never let you go back to Jax. You may not be sleeping with Jason but the only part of your heart that is worth anything belongs to him. Do you deny that's true?"_

_She just stared him down._

_Jerry walked over, grabbed her arm and injected her with more drugs. Carly tried to jerk away from him but couldn't._

"_Stop! You don't even know what you're doing with these drugs. Its too much. You can't keep injecting me with more and more. Jerry, please. I'm begging you to calm down and just think about this... I do love Jax. Isn't that what you want? Jax understands my love for him..." Suddenly Carly started to sweat profusely and shake._

_Jerry grabbed her face between both of his hands. "There's no camera now, Carly, and you are dying. So lets just cut the bullshit. If Morgan would touch you with a ten foot pole, if he came to you and said he wanted your cheating whorish self back, would you have left my brother and run off with your precious Jason?"_

_Her eyes were huge. She was shaking violently now. "Jason is going to come and save me. You're a dead man."_

"_No, I'm going to kill your Jason for ruining my brother's marriage. And you know I can, Carly. I can have drugs slipped into his meal in jail."_

"_You stay away from Jason! Don't go near him." Terror was in her eyes, but it was all for him and not for herself._

"_I'm afraid you've left me no choice. Unless you can tell me you don't love him anymore and will stay away from him from now on."_

_But the drugs made it so she couldn't lie. "I will never stop loving Jason...you can't make me...not even if you kill me..."_

_She started shaking uncontrollably. _

_Her head fell towards her chest. Jerry quickly undid her the ropes that held her to the chair while mumbling "All right, all right, don't go and die for real now. I just wanted to teach you a lesson so you would know to value Jax the way he should be..." he patted her cheek. "Wake up. Come on, you stubborn mule of a woman. Carly? Oh...pity."_

_He stood up and looked at the camera. "She isn't doing so well, mate. Guess this went a little far. Well, sometimes it has to be that way. Though I didn't plan this, if she does die Jax will certainly be the most sought after widower in all of New York state and quickly find someone who can love him with her whole heart._

"_Did you ever love her at all, Morgan? Not enough I suppose. Just not enough. And she knew that because she stopped waiting for you. I know all about the other three men she married before my brother. So much for the great big love you two share. Didn't ever keep her out of other men's beds, did it? The love, or whatever it is, that you two share is..." He burst out laughing. "worthless and..." he looked down at the unconscious body at his feet "over."_

_Jerry walked closer to the camera. " You'll come looking for me, I suppose. Yes, yes, you are like that. Thinking it means something to kill the one who hurt her. When it means very little, not much of a consolation prize for Carly, in the end. I suggest you don't even bother but if you do I think I will have to kill you instead, and follow that up with slitting the throat of that dreadful Corinthos. Then Jax can have the children he always longed for...yes, maybe that is all he wanted anyway- children, a family- me and those boys."_

_After pondering for a moment, Jerry added, "Since you are not the brightest crayon in the box, Morgan, I better help you to find the location of where our final standoff will take place...the place where you will die...don't come there till you are ready for it to be your last day on earth...Now, I don't want to make it so easy. That would be insulting, even to someone with your limited intelligence. Okay, meet me...underneath the world on the edge in the spot where the walkabout began...see you there. Don't make me wait too long. I look forward to the sound of your screams for mercy. May they be as sweet as Carly's were to hear."_

The recording ended there.

Jason's jaw twitched. To see someone treat Carly that way, and then not care if she lived or died, enraged him. He spit out some curse words.

Spinelli cowered. "Shouldn't I have showed you that? No? I'm so sorry."

"Its fine. You did the right thing. Head back to the lake house and stay there. Stay inside. Jerry could be trying to get be to the meeting spot just so he can double back here and hurt someone I care about. That could be you the next time."

"You care about me?"

Jason shook his head in a way that said, _Of course_. "I care that you don't get killed by that psycho."

Spinelli threw his arms around him, quickly, then jumped back. " I care about you too!"

Then he hurried off, leaving Jason there still seeing in his mind Carly laying on that cold, dirty warehouse floor.

**Note- Hey, Jarly Fans, did you know that a new Jarly story was recently posted and added to the C2. Check out Behind Closed Doors by Madelyn Pai, rated mature. You know my motto: everyday needs a little Jarly.**


	11. Chapter 11

**The Truth Hurts**

**Chapter Eleven**

As Spinelli hurried off, down the hall at General Hospital, Jason put a hand up to his head, inhaled and exhaled. He tried to get the image of Carly lying on the floor of that warehouse out of his mind but he couldn't do it. Intense waves of guilt rolled through him that he hadn't gotten to her sooner.

For years he had been living with one foot in his own life and one aimed in her direction- ready to run to her at the slightest indication she needed him. Every woman he was with knew his mind could never totally be on her.

And his heart?

They didn't even ask him for _all _of that. No one thought he could give it, even if he wanted to.

Jason knew from the day that Carly married AJ that Jason loved Carly in a way that could break him. He knew on the day that she married Sonny, that Jason loved Carly in a way that could withstand them breaking each other. He knew on the day she married Lorenzo, that Jason loved Carly in a way that would forgive anything. He knew on the day that she married Jax that Jason would never get her back now- for she was happy with her husband and that life.

Jason knew then his last chance was gone...but now he didn't know how to live with that. He didn't think he could. If she asked to step aside...he couldn't leave town again, leave her behind. He'd have to stay and watch Carly love another man for the rest of his life, the life that should have been theirs.

Jason had been willing to accept that fate, before he saw the recording, before he saw her trapped and scared and screaming about her love for him while a man tried to kill her because of it. He didn't want Carly to ever feel that way again, ever have his love be anything but something that saved her life, that made her world better. He wanted her to finally know just how deep for her his love ran.

He didn't think he'd told her that the right way yet. She seemed confused, scared, and worried- all the things he didn't want her to feel.

Jason vowed to change that. He'd win her back- even if it took begging- and he would make her world safe again. No matter who had to die to insure that.

XXXXXXXXXX

**Jason stepped **back into Carly's room.

She was sitting there, looking in a compact and fixing her hair, which he found incredibly cute and funny.

His eyes lit up as he stared at his best friend, and the one women he couldn't get by without.

(_**I believe in you and me  
I believe that we will be  
in love eternally**_

_**  
Well as far as I can see  
you will always be the one for me) ( Whitney Houston)  
**_

"You look fine," he told her.

"Just fine? I want to look great! But that's kinda hard to pull off in a hospital. When am I getting out of here?"

He stayed a few feet away from her bed, intent on not crowding her and knowing full well that the closer they got to each other the harder it was to be rational. He had made some crazy choices in his life and most of them were clouded by his feelings over this woman.

"Another day or two, Carly."

"Can I see the boys?"

He gave her a look. Jason thought about how terrified he was seeing her in here, let alone having children witness their mom hurt in a hospital bed."It will only be a few more days till you could see them at home."

She added, "I need to see them, Jase. Before that. You know I have no patience."

He let out a breath. "All right. I'll call Sonny in a little while."

"Thank you." She smiled at him and patted the bed next to her.

He hesitated.

She joked, "So shy. How can you be that gorgeous -and know that every woman who sees you wants you in her bed- and still be shy? It defies logic."

He sat down on her bed. "You didn't think I was shy the first night we met."

She raised an eyebrow, and he could tell she was thinking about what it felt like the first time he was inside of her. _Good_, he thought.

Carly smiled and threw out "Too shy to even tell me your name."

"That wasn't cause I was shy. I just didn't want you taking over my whole life."

"But I did anyway," she teased.

"Yeah."

"And you love that I did and that I never let you get away."

"Yeah." A small smile curved his lips.

(_**And I believe in dreams again  
I believe that love will never**_

_**end  
**_

_**And like the river finds the sea  
I was lost, now Im free**_

_**  
Cause I believe in you and me)  
**_

Carly got serious. "And you love me?"

"Yes,... yes, I do."

"And you think that if I move in with you...then what? My marriage will be over and you will be stuck with me for good then, Jase. You get that, right? If I move back into that Penthouse, I will never leave it again. So are you up for all that?"

He started to shake his head at her logic and tone. He didn't think of it was being stuck with her, not at all. "Is that what this is about? Now you think we wouldn't last so you don't want to mess up your sure thing with Jax?"

He knew his voice was bitter, and tried to push that emotion down so she didn't hear his hurt so clearly. But she was watching his eyes, and that would tell his story to her without any words at all.

She said, "Nothing is a sure thing. And, to tell you the truth, I am trying to not think about Jax right now. I am trying to figure out me and you so that the next time he walks through those doors I can know how to feel, what to say, what to do. I can tell him where I belong."

"You know that already." She had to know. Everything between them depended on her not doubting that she belonged by Jason's side.

Her voice was soft and low when she said "Yeah, I do, Jase. Do you?"

"I know we need to be together. Nothing makes sense for me without you."

(_**I will never leave your side.  
I will never hurt your pride.**_

_**  
When all the chips are down,  
see I will always be around-**_

_**  
just to be right where you are.**_

_**  
My love,**_

_**you know I love you.**_

_**  
I will never leave you out.  
I will always let you in to places no one's ever been.**_

_**  
Deep inside, **_

_**can't you see?**_

_**  
That I believe in you and me**_)

Slowly he raised his hand and cupped her cheek. She leaned her face into his caress and sighed.

Carly whispered, her voice teary, "I think...this was worth it. What Jerry did to me. Cause no matter what happens now...I, at least, had these moments. This time of you being in love with me. Of me looking in those eyes I'm so crazy about and not seeing even one doubt. That's...a gift. I have prayed to God so many times that you would look at me like you are right now. That you would forget that you don't trust me with your heart, that you thought I would crush it, that I messed everything up and ruined our family..."

"Will you please stop? Just stop that, Carly. You didn't end us alone- even if I let you think that. You know better. I just wasn't ready back then. I am now. I want you to move in with me..."

"And Spinelli." She smiled through her tears.

"And Spinelli," he agreed. For a second, Jason lost his train of thought as he just smiled back at her.

Then he added, "I want you to move in with me and never leave again. I want to wake up hearing the boys running down the hall and smell the breakfast you are burning up in the kitchen. I want_ that_ life. I need that. I wouldn't ask you to give up your marriage for anything less than...a chance to spend the rest of our lives together."

Jason kissed her then, slowly and sweetly, then leaned his forehead against hers. "You have my heart, Carly, and I need you to tell me if I have yours."

"You know you had it first."

But that didn't answer his question. Even in the most stressful moments before in Jason's life, when a gun was pointed at his head or a jury foreman was about to announce his fate, he never felt this nervous. Her eyes were locked on his, so soft and filled with tenderness, devotion, and loyalty. Was all that enough to still make her be in love with him?

Jason asked, "Do I have it now? Are you going to leave him for me?"

The silence drug on for a minute, then more, until it felt like it was a force slamming into Jason and flattening him. No other woman could do this to him, no other one meant what she did.

He whispered, "If its too late you have to say that. I will understand but I won't pretend it doesn't... kill me. Still, don't say anything just to make me happy. Don't... don't do that, okay?"

She nodded.

Jason leaned back and looked in her eyes. "I won't ask you if you love me or if you want me or if you have faith in us. I know you do. There is only one question left that matters now."

"Its not that simple. I wish it was." Her words were filled with a thousand different emotions. "You don't know how bad I wish Jax was some bastard I didn't care about in the slightest so this could be easy. But he's not, Jase."

"It's simple, even if it is not easy."

Their eyes locked on each other. Jason went on to ask, "Will you come home with me, Carly?"

He looked in her eyes, and saw the answer, before she even said a word. His heart stopped, started, skipped a beat. His breaths came quick, hard, right on top of each other. He knew she could see how much she affected him.

No one but this woman ever got this deep inside of Jason Morgan. He forgot how to think straight when it came to her, but he never forgot that her happiness came before his own, that her life meant more than his.

He was in this for the long haul- whether it killed him or saved him. He wasn't running from her answer or the hard truth.

His love for her wasn't something he could change. He was staying by her side- come what may.

_**Maybe I'm a fool  
to feel the way I do.**_

_**But I will play the fool forever  
just to be with you forever.**_

_**  
I believe in miracles.  
And loves a miracle.**_

_**  
Baby, you're my dream come true.**_

_**  
I was lost, now Im free  
I believe in you and me**_

_**  
See I was lost, now Im free  
cause I believe in you and me.) ( Whitney Houston)**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

_Note- Carly's answer to Jason's question about moving in together will be eventually shown in a flashback._

**A DAY LATER**

"I know what you are trying to do," Carly told Jason. "And it won't work. It can't be done."

He didn't want to hear that. And wouldn't accept it.

She went on, "You can't stand between me and the whole world- between me and Jax- and fix everything for me. Sometimes I will have to be out of your sight, sometimes I will have to handle things alone, and you'll just have to...have some faith in me."

It wasn't a question of faith or even trust. It was about keeping her safe, keeping her here, keeping her his.

He said, "Its not you I'm worried about. It's the rest of the world."

She smiled. "Virginia used to say something close to those exact words to me when I was a teenager. But guess what, Jase?" Carly smirked. "It was_ me_ she should have worried about. I tossed myself headfirst into whatever danger or craziness I could find."

"No, really? That doesn't sound like you at all," he joked.

There weren't many people who even knew Jason Morgan had a sense of humor- only those he trusted most and the ones he felt like himself with- Spinelli, Brenda and, from the start, Carly.

She smiled. "But I'm not going to do that anymore..."

He gave her an unconvinced look.

"Not for a while at least," Carly said. "I just want out of this hospital and to get my life going again. I want...to talk to Jax."

Jason nodded. If he had it his way, he would pick her up and carry her to his car, then drive her straight to the penthouse and carry her inside. They'd stay there together till she was completely recovered and strong and he started to calm down again.

Since he watched her flat line, his nerves were shot. He kept worrying she could die, or leave him in some other way, and that fear made Jason's hands shake.

He didn't know how to live without seeing her eyes looking in his filled with love, and he didn't ever want to learn how to get by without that. But, in the end, Jason knew it wasn't up to him. For years it had been. For years she was his for the taking.

But now the control had all shifted. It happened the moment Carly stopped looking to men who reminded her of Jason- dangerous, deadly, sexy, all risk without asking for redemption types- and instead let herself love someone sedate like Jax. She made a choice for her future in that move.

Now it was time to make another. To either go back to that safe, happy marriage or to go back to Jason...and all she had once craved with all her soul.

The day before she had told him her choice. But still neither had tried living with it yet, and that would be the biggest test of them all.

XXXXXXX

Max was at the door asking if it was okay to bring the kids in for their visit now. Carly's face lit up with a smile as she said "Of course. I've missed them like crazy."

Then the boys were running into the room and towards the bed. Jason held out one hand to slow down Micheal while at the same time scooping up Morgan. "Hold on now. I know your Dad explained that your mom was sick and now she is better but you still need to be careful around her for a little while. Real gentle. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Uncle Jason," Morgan replied, dutifully.

Micheal said, "Sure." Then he eased closer to his mom and gave her a hug. "I'm so glad you're okay. What made you get sick?"

"Food poisoning," Carly lied.

Jason felt anger race through him at the thought of what Jerry did to her, but he pushed it down and focused on her and the boys once more.

"Lets not talk about me," Carly said "I want to hear about you guys. Have you been behaving for your father lately? Not tormenting that mean old Kate Howard, are you?"

"No," they chimed in unison. Though both of them wore guilty expressions.

"Too bad," said Carly. "She deserves it."

Jason chuckled. Watching her with the boys started to relax him and after a while his muscles unclenched and, for the first time since he saw the recording, Jason wasn't worried about this woman he loved and the fate of his family. For a few minutes, he felt like they were all safe- because finally they were all where he could see them and they were all wearing smiles filled with the love they had for each other.

It was a sight he felt blessed to be able to see, a little miracle he didn't deserve but got all the same.

XXXXXXXXXX

Jax walked in just as Max was taking the kids home. He said hello to his stepsons, hugged them and then they children left with their bodyguard.

Jason's whole body stiffened at the sight of Jax. His eyes went cold.

Jax ignored him, smiling instead at his wife. "You're going home tomorrow. Getting excited?"

Her smile was faked, Jason could tell that right away, but Carly tried to force enthusiasm into her tone when she said "Very. I need to be far away from this place. And believe me, once I am, I will not be stopping by to visit mama here or for anything else for a good long time."

"We should get out of Port Charles," Jax said "Go away on a trip. You deserve a getaway. Maybe Paris or-"

Jason cut him off. "She isn't up for traveling right now."

Carly shot Jason a look. Their eyes locked on each other.

"Oh," Jax said, looking back and forth between them. "well, maybe in a few months then."

Tears came to Carly's eyes. She looked down to hide them. Jason moved closer to her, which caused Jax to glare at him.

"Jase...give us a minute, will you? In fact, go home. Get a decent nights rest for the first time in weeks."

"No. I'm good."

Jax stepped close to Jason and said, in a low whisper, "Are you incapable of taking a hint?"

"Why don't you take a walk," Jason told Jax.

Carly said "Don't do this, either of you. Just don't."

Jax's jaw clenched. "I've put up with all I plan to out of you, Morgan. You've played bulldog guarding my wife since she was admitted but its enough now. Seriously. She's getting pulled in two because she's too nice to tell you the truth. This is a marriage and you aren't part of it. No matter how much you might like to be. So do what she asked. What your_ best friend _wants. Go home and stay there. I'll take care of Carly from now on. She's awake and strong enough to tell us both that what she wants most is me- _her husband_."

"Really?" Jason asked, mocking him.

He knew he had to stop doing this- fighting Jax at every turn- but seeing the guy made his blood boil. Jax hadn't even asked about Jerry once and that made Jason suspect they were in contact with each other. If not Jax would have surely have asked if Jason had sent someone to kill his brother.

Jason added, "You sure about that?"

Jax shook his head in disbelief. His eyes asked Jason if he was kidding or just clueless. When all he got back was a hard stare, Jax turned to look at Carly.

She bit her lip.

Seeing the look in her eyes, both devastated and guilty, Jax breathed out her name. The single word asked every question he needed to know.

(_**Sometimes we'd never know what's wrong**_

_**without the pain.**_

_**  
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.**_

Maybe you want her .

_**Maybe you need her .  
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there. **_)

Carly moved her eyes over to Jason. His first instinct was to rush to her side but as he started toward her she held up a hand to motion him back.

Carly told Jason, her voice breaking, "I need you to leave now."

He hated to do it. It didn't seem right. She was in pain. Jason never could stand to see her that way, and to walk away with her when she was crying was unthinkable. But that is what she wanted him to do now.

The first tear spilled out of her eye and over her cheek.

Jax said, "You heard her. Get the hell out!"

"Carly," Jason said, his eyes never leaving hers.

Jax grabbed his shoulder and pulled him backwards. "Out. Now."

Jason shoved Jax and said "You touch me one more time and that's gonna be the last thing you ever do."

Carly started to get out of bed. "No. Stop this. You're both out of line."

"Stay in bed," Jason ordered.

She ignored him. "I can handle this on my own. I told you how it has to go..."

His eyes jerked over to hers. "Bed."

Her eyes narrowed at him but she got back into the hospital bed. Jason said "Do not get worked up. Don't let your blood pressure rise...breath. Stay calm...please. Do that for me. Promise or I'm not going anywhere."

"Fine."

"Say it."

"I won't get worked up. I'll...remember to breathe. Okay? I promise."

All he wanted to do was cross the room and kiss her. To mark her as his, like he should have done ten years ago, to claim her and their family as his choice. But he had already poured out his heart and she had already made her decision, now was the time for her to tell Jax about all that Jason had offered her and she wouldn't do it with Jason standing two feet away.

Jason took a few steps backwards, toward the door, his eyes staying on Carly. "Keep your promise then," he said. "Stay calm."

Jax hissed, "You're unbelievable. You don't get to tell her how to live and what to do. She thinks you're better than Sonny but all I see is a more subtle form of manipulation."

"That's not true at all," Carly said. "I know you can't understand this though..."

"Understand what?" Jax asked

And that is how Jason left them, with a question hanging in the air, and the remainder of his life resting in the answer.

(_**Maybe you want it **_

_**Maybe you need it  
Maybe it's all you're running from **_

_**Perfection will not come**_

Maybe you want her 

_**Maybe you need her  
Maybe you had her **_

_**Maybe you lost her to another  
**_

_**To another ) ( The Fray)**_


	13. Chapter 13

**The Truth Hurts**

I added two chapters today. 13 and 14

**Chapter Thirteen**

Jason finally left General Hospital. Though he only made it to the bar across the street. It wasn't Jake's but it would do for now.

He ordered a beer and dialed his cell as the taunt Jerry used in the recording ran threw Jason's mind:

_Okay, meet me...underneath the world on the edge in the spot where the walkabout began...see you there. Don't make me wait too long. I look forward to the sound of your screams for mercy. May they be as sweet as Carly's were to hear. _

There were only a few ways to find out what place that cryptic description referred to. Spinelli wouldn't be any use in this one. Only someone close to the Jacks family would know where 'the walkabout began'. Jason knew that was a right of passage for young men in some cultures and Jax and Jerry must have taken part in it in their youth for Jerry to bring it up now. 'Underneath the world' obviously meant Australia. 'On the edge' probably referenced the coast or the side of a mountain.

"Hey there, stranger," Brenda chirped as soon as she picked up. "You finally decide to call me back after I left _how many _messages? Well, tell me, she's better now, right? I knew she would be."

He smiled slightly. "Yeah, she's better. But I wouldn't call Carly safe. Not yet. I need info and I need you to give it to me without asking too many questions."

"You said too many, so I can ask some, right? Don't worry about incriminating yourself to me. We could always fake another marriage if worse came to worse so I wouldn't have to testify against you. I hear Celine Dion's show in Vegas is out of this world. I know you wouldn't want to miss seeing it before it closes..."

Chuckling, Jason said "This is not the time for joking around, Bren."

She grew serious. "Talk."

"Did Jax ever tell you about going on a walkabout?"

Soon she was telling him all she knew about it, then she asked "So...which one are you going after?"

Her tone was cautious. Jason knew her allegiance would have to be to him first now. That was decided on the day Jax refused to marry her, and Jason was there to pick up the pieces. He didn't mind. She would have done the same for him.

Brenda added, "I know you blame both of them."

"I don't like Jax but...I probably won't hurt the guy."

"Only probably?"

Jason pinched his nose. Just thinking about Carly being alone with Jax right now, in her hospital room, was driving him crazy. How had he ever survived that wedding and giving her away to him Jason did not know. It was a dumbass move on his part but he couldn't do anything about that at this point.

"He needs to stay out of my way," Jason said. "I thought I hated him when he...did what he did to you but now...I can not even stand to look at the guy."

"You were singing a different tune a few months ago."

"Bren- "

"I am just saying! You were happy for her- in your own way."

Jason made a sound that said that was hardly true.

Brenda argued, "You know I'm not about to let you get away with lying to yourself or me so drop the bullshit. You thought she did the right thing marrying Jax. Made a good and rational choice for her future is, I think, the exact words you used which is probably the very words Carly told you to convince you to walk her down the aisle or something damn close. And no matter what Jerry did to Carly, Jax didn't hurt her so...what changed? Is this about Jax screwing up or you finally wising up?"

"He sure as hell did hurt her. Every time he left town it hurt her. She can't take being abandoned. I should know. Just because she has gotten good at forgiving men who break her heart don't ever make it right. He's not getting another chance to do it again. Not when-"

"When you love her?"

"When she...she shouldn't even be alive, Brenda. Not medically speaking. She was dead. She was gone. It was over. I was done for. But then...she came back. She came back to me. I have to keep her safe this time and I have to...fight for her and me. I have to or I won't be able to stand looking myself in the mirror- and I'm pass that shit, long past it, and I won't go back to it."

All the days after he gave up Micheal and after he lost Carly came rushing back to slap Jason in the face. He took another slug of his beer. Brenda had a way of getting him to say things he never wanted to tell anyone, and it only got easier to talk to her once she moved to Europe. She was a call away and always had the time to hear what he was saying and decipher what he wasn't.

"About time," Brenda said.

He smiled slightly. "Don't act like you approve."

"Of her? Hardly. But of you getting what you pretended not to want for a decade, yeah, I like that idea. I like it when you're happy and...not all shot up. So you be careful when you hunt Jerry down."

"Don't worry about it. I have a family to come back to. Nothing will get in the way of that."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jax had wanted to talk to Carly more than anything else in the world after Jason caused yet another scene by ordering Carly to stay in bed, be calm, and relax. He had no right, Jax felt and told him so.

Jax had hissed, "_You're unbelievable. You don't get to tell her how to live and what to do. She thinks you're better than Sonny but all I see is a more subtle form of manipulation." _

"_That's not true at all,_" Carly said. "_I know you can't understand this though..."_

"_Understand what?"_ Jax asked

Jax was thrilled when Morgan chose that moment to finally hit the door and take his interfering self somewhere else but Carly was left wearing a broken hearted expression. Jax knew he needed answers and he intended to get them. "What was he talking about? Asking if I was sure you want me. Of course, I'm sure. You want to tell me why he seems to doubt it?"

She opened her mouth to speak but a nurse came in and insisted on taking her vitals and giving her medication. Jax was left to pace the hall for twenty minutes. Only later did he realize how precious that time had been. He was still happily in the dark then, about himself, about Carly and about their marriage. That dark felt great. It was the best place in the world to hide from the hard truth.


	14. Chapter 14

Note- Today I added chapter 13 and 14.

**Chapter Fourteen**

Jax stood in front of Carly's bed in stunned silence. His mind seemed to have shut off five minutes before.

_Carly was rambling on about things he couldn't make sense out of that went all the way back to Tony Jones. _

What could that man have to do with now? _Jax had thought but let her make her way to what she wanted to say without him interrupting._

_Finally she spit out_, "_ I've done nothing but screw up my life. Not just my love life. My life. Every time I fix one part or beat one enemy or pull myself back from the brink of insanity or prison or some crazy situation I have no business being involved in then something else happens or I do something else. Like run off with Jerry. Jason warned me not to. I should have listened but I couldn't._

"_I couldn't, Jax. Because that would have meant that Jason would go to prison for life and...be away from me for the rest of his life and I couldn't allow that to happen. No matter what I had to risk. No matter who got hurt. I told myself I would help him first and then find you but...the truth is I made a choice. I chose Jason over you. It didn't feel like a conscious choice. But that's no excuse. Because this time it is...I'm not going home with you...I'm not going back to our marriage..."_

"_Because of what my brother did? Carly, please, don't make me pay for that."_

"_Its not because of Jerry. Not at all."_

"_Jason told you to leave me, didn't he? And you are blindly jumping to do his orders. You will give up all we have, all we want for the future, our life, to soothe Morgan's ego cause he couldn't protect you from Jerry. You really want to go that far for him? Lose yourself in him that bad all over again? Live just for the chance to make him happy?"_

_She shook her head ,sadly, in a way that said he would never get it. "Yeah, I do. I want to go as far as it takes to get my family back."_

"_Your family?" he choked the words out, not able to comprehend all she meant and then it hit him. Jason and her boys- her family. He started to feel dizzy at that point. _

_She didn't answer but then she didn't have to. Carly had already said it all. Too much._

"_Jason wants me to move in with him. I'm going to do it. I thought about telling him no. But that would have been out of spite. To make him pay for waiting so long. To make him...hurt. But I hate seeing him hurt. And I hate that I have done this to you."_

"_But if one of us has to suffer then you are okay with it being me, your husband, instead of Jason?"_

_Jax was pissed as hell at that moment but it faded away in the next second when Carly quietly whispered, "Don't you get it? I'm in love with him. He's really been the only one...I was ever in love with the way a woman should be before she says I do, the way a person should be when they make a life long promise. I made one. I made vows in my own way...to him eleven years ago and they trump everything else for me."_

Now they stared at each other. Her with tears in her eyes. His face slack. Parts of Jax grew cold, died right there on the spot. He wanted to hate her, but he couldn't. Because she hated herself for doing this to him, and that told him that at one time she had loved him, as much as she could, in her own way.

But Carly hadn't loved him the most- not ever. Jason was who she loved best, and Jason was who she had been waiting for all these years. It would be infuriating if it wasn't so damn heartbreaking.

If only his brain would start working again and he could remember how to walk and talk and leave her behind. But all he could picture was their wedding. Alexis asking _"Are you sure?" _It echoed in his mind now. And for the first time he admitted to himself that he had wanted to tell his best friend_ "No, I'm not sure."_

Because as badly as him and Carly wanted their dream life and dream family and dream future, that's all it should have stayed - a dream. It was the perfect dream. But, in reality, it was ugly, compromised and just painful for both of them. Struggling to get that perfect life that didn't exist- not when you weren't with your soulmate.

Something clicked in Jax then. He knew where he wanted to go. Who he needed to see. He didn't ever think he'd have the urge to run to her and pour out his heart, not this many years later, but suddenly he did. He needed his soulmate, more than he needed this wife who didn't want him anymore.

Carly was openly crying now. Saying things about how she didn't regret their marriage and how he could see the boys anytime he wanted. His stepsons- more children lost to him forever now. He couldn't hear about them so Jax cut her off, "I loved you. Whether I was some stand-in for you or not, I did love you. Know that."

"I wanted our marriage to work. I'm sorry it came down to this. I would have never have married you if I didn't believe we had a real shot."

His last bit of bitterness came out when he threw at her, "You mean if you didn't believe Jason was done with you forever. And would never sleep with you again."

She took that without responding but he knew better than to push much further. Her guilt would only keep her from snapping on him for so long and he didn't want them to end in an ugly scene.

_End. Oh my God, we are over,_ he thought. _This is what it felt like when I did this same thing to her. What did I do? What was I thinking?_

He had been lost in his own pain and his own mind back then, when he walked away from his soulmate. Only now could he feel the same devastation his true soulmate must have felt. He didn't even know that then, he only knew his own feelings in those days. He had been selfish and foolish and blind, and that is what got him here more than anything else.

Carly crossed her arms over her chest, blocking him out. "You can have the hotel."

"Don't worry about that. We can work something out."

She nodded.

Jax wanted to stumble backwards and out the door but his feet moved him forward instead. He was determined to leave this on a good note. To not let either of them regret their last real moment as a married couple.

(_Goodbye,_

_easier said than done._

_  
Goodbye, _

_there's no good when you're the one  
_

_whose goodbye you swore would never come  
and in my goodbye you're finding none_.) ( Clint Black) 

Jax brought his hand to her cheek. She stiffened. He gave her a small smile. Carly shivered as a wave of sadness washed through her.

He leaned down and let his lips brush over hers.

_(How can we be so far between _

_where we are and one more try?_

_And any way I look_

_I've only seen_

_that I can't leave you  
with a bad goodbye.)_

The kiss was one of a strained sort of understanding and a hint of forgiveness, a first step toward living in this same town as former spouses and friends, not mortal enemies with lists of who did what to who that they ran down every time they were in the same room together.

"Carly?" Jason's voice asked from the doorway.

Jax couldn't help but feel a bittersweet satisfaction at Jason walking in on them kissing. Served him right.

Carly pulled away from Jax, even though she hadn't kissed him back and only allowed him to kiss her, and looked around Jax. He expected her eyes to be guilty, but they weren't. They held a challenge directed at Jason that even Jax could read clearly : _Trust me._

NOTE- _The stuff about Jax's soulmate is not a big part of this story. The point was to show he had messed up with his own soulmate years before but only realized how badly right now._ _This chapter probably marks the end of Jax being in this story._


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifeteen**

Every second Jason was out of Carly's room, letting her talk to Jax, felt like torture. He would rather be strapped to a chair and beaten senseless by one of his enemies then leave Carly alone with Jax right now, but Carly had demanded he do just that and Jason had given in.

Less than a half an hour later, he could take waiting no longer. After clicking off his cell call with Brenda, Jason paid his bar bill and headed back across the street to General Hospital.

When he walked into Carly room, his feet stalled first, then his heart clutched and finally his mind caught up and he realized what he was looking at.

Jax had his filthy mouth on Carly. Jason felt that was out of line because Jax could have gotten her killed by letting his damn brother do as he pleased in the months after the hostage crisis- even letting Carly beg for Jerry's life.

Jason wanted to put Jax through a wall. The last of his self control broke at that moment as intense rage filled him. But, even stronger than his anger at that man, was his love for this woman in front of him, his need for her...still, always, forever. Nothing ever lessened that.

He choked out "Carly?"

She broke away from Jax. It looked like to Jason that the kiss had been short and sad.

Her eyes focused it on Jason's and without a word he knew what she was asking him to do. Trust her this time, trust in them, don't let this ruin their chances.

Before either of them could speak, Jax turned to Jason and said "I guess you aren't as slow as I always thought you were. You finally put a few brain cells together and realized what you had right in front of you for years. I'd congratulate you but I can't say I am happy for you. If you ever let her down again-"

That was it. Jason could take no more. He grabbed Jax by the throat and tossed him into the hallway, ignoring Carly's screams for them to calm down.

Jason told Jax "You don't tell me how to treat Carly. I trusted you to take care of her and all you did was walk out on her over and over. I don't care if Jerry is your brother. Nobody comes before Carly for me. So don't you worry about how she will be. I'll always make sure she is protected. You keep your worthless excuse for love far away from her."

Jason fixed Jax with a stare that could make any grown man shiver, and then added "Or me and you, Jax, we are gonna end all of this...for good."

Without waiting on an answer, Jason headed back into Carly's room and closed her door. She was out of bed, standing there with IV's attached to her. Their eyes met.

"What the hell?!" Jason asked her. "What were you doing kissing him?"

He couldn't help it. She got him completely riled up at times, beyond being rational or sensible or sane. All he could do was feel. And right now he felt hurt and pissed that she had let Jax kiss her again.

"Don't even," she told him. "Don't you dare! Either trust me or don't. I won't spend my life begging for your faith in me. I will not do it, Jase. I can't."

Her words started to turn teary, even though she was still obviously angry. Carly went on, "You have to know who I love by now. You have to believe...if you don't then I don't know what I'll do. Because I have shown you every way I know how. I've done everything for you, offered everything I have, everything I am. If that's not enough...if you still think I want some other guy...then you don't know me the way I think you do."

He walked closer to her. Gently he brought his hands up to cup both her cheeks. Jason could feel the way her body was shaking in frustration and fear- to come so close and lose it all would kill them both.

"I know you, Carly. I know all of you- even the parts that drive me up the wall."

She smiled slightly and searched his eyes with hers.

Jason went on "You always tell me you're selfish, right? Well, I'm selfish too."

She shook her head.

"Yeah, I am," Jason whispered. "I'm selfish when it comes to you. I don't want anybody kissing you but me..." his lips brushed over her cheek, then he whispered in her ear "anybody touching you but me" he picked her up and carried her back to bed "anyone ever being with you again...but me."

Carly smiled. "I don't think that will be a problem. You see I've been out of my mind wild in love with you for...lets just say..._a long, long _time now. Why do you think that I could let everyone else go-friends, family, lovers- but never you. I can't live without you, Jase."

Despite the fact that she was married to someone else, had just kissed someone else, and that Jason had feared for years she was destined to belong to someone else other than him...he believed every word Carly said and knew them all to be the truth, for Jason felt just the same way back about her.

"So do you think you can you live with me?" he asked, as a slow smile curved up the corners of his lips.

He remembered the moment she decided their future, for it was all in her hands these days. Jason had given up control, willingly, for the chance to get something much more valuable to him- his girl back in his home, in his bed, in all his hopes and dreams and plans for the future.

It wasn't like he made many of those. Before now, at least. Cause what was there to hope for after he lost Carly and Micheal? Nothing but that he would somehow survivor. But then a few days ago, Carly opened up her eyes and fought off death and then later she opened up her heart and let him see the hard truth...

"_Its not that simple. I wish it was," she said "You don't know how bad I wish Jax was some bastard I didn't care about in the slightest so this could be easy. But he's not, Jase."_

"_It's simple, even if it is not easy. Will you come home with me, Carly?"_

_She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it tightly. He could feel how terrified she was. She didn't want to screw up again. She only wanted to find a way to have the love she never thought she could- him. Jason had to make her see she had that all along._

_Her eyes told him she was thinking of telling him no. He would find a way to live with it if she did, to stay by her side anyway, but he didn't know how he'd manage to survive having his heart ripped out for the third time in his life...he'd lost Micheal, he'd lost Carly and now he would lose the chance to be with them again and with Morgan. It seemed more than one man should ever bear._

_He knew he wasn't the first man to go through losing it all but for him it felt like the whole world was going dark...like the earth would come to the end if she told him 'I'm sorry. I just can't, Jase.'_

"_You're my life," he whispered. "My whole life. If not for you and the boys...I don't know what would keep me breathing. I don't. Nothing means anything if I lose you."_

"_That will never happen."_

"_Then say you want to come home with me. Please, Carly. Unless you love him more...I'll" he looked away and let out a harsh breath. "I will deal if you do...I don't know how but I will. I'll be whatever you need me to be..."_

_She placed her fingers on his jaw and made him look at her again. In her smile, Jason finally found his answer. It was probably more than he deserved, he knew that, but it was what he needed most right now. His breathing became ragged as relief flooded through him._

"_Yes, I will move in with you. I'll go anywhere in the world with you. I'll trust you with my heart another time...I never took my love back. I never could. You've always owned the biggest part of my heart...you got to know that. Know that, Jason. Believe that." _

_Then she started to kiss him, over and over, short, sweet kisses that were each a promise in themselves..._


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

She was still stuck in the hospital. Carly was eager to get out of this place, home to her children, and to Jason...who only days before had offered her what she has been afraid they would never get: a second chance to live as a family together. "I can't live without you, Jase."

A slow smile curved up the corners of his lips, as he asked "So do you think you can you live with me?"

Carly reached out and brought her arms around his neck. She smiled at him, "The real question is can you live with me? How long before I drive you nuts?"

"You already drove me nuts years ago."

She laughed. "Jase!"

"You can drive me nuts. I don't mind. Its what you are good at."

Carly raised an eyebrow. "There are a lot of things I am good at."

Her eyes moved down his body. Jason started to think about what it would be like when he could spend hours lavishing her body with kisses until she screamed out his name- he used to love when she did that, and he loved the sounds she made when she was about to fall over the edge into ecstacy. God, he wanted to hear those sounds again. And soon.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, leaning closer to her and kissing her neck. "You think so?"

"I know so."

He had to smile at that. "All right. For right now, please stay in this bed and just relax. You need to let your body recover slowly."

She gave him a look that said she was feeling just fine.

"I mean it!" Jason told her. "You are taking it easy for a good long while. Because once you leave this hospital I don't want to see you have a relapse and end up back here. I have had it with this place."

"Think I haven't?" Carly smiled and suddenly his world was perfect again.

For the longest time he had only been surviving, now Jason Morgan was living again.

XXXXXXXXX

She didn't know how things changed so quickly. It was less than a month before that she was desperate to find some way to keep Jason out of prison, to get Jax to commit the biggest portion of his loyalty to her over Jerry, to keep all their lives in order. She had been juggling and stressing and just plain sad. Because it wasn't the life she wanted at all.

Looking at Jason now, with the corners of his lips curved up in a smile, Carly saw the exact life she wanted staring back at her. It had always rested right in his blue eyes.

It shocked her a little, in the best way, that he wanted to be with her now. It wasn't that Carly ever doubted his love. Not after he came back to town, at least. When he was gone, it was hard to know anything at all, but once he came home to her she saw that Jason was still just as hooked on her as ever. He wasn't ever gonna leave her side.

That is why it always frustrated her that he could resist what was between them. And that he would settle for lesser relationships with other women that never made him feel half as much as what one look between her and him could. How she wanted him to step up...for so many years...just to admit that what she knew was true was real. And now he was.

A pain that had sat on her heart for a decade finally lifted.

He reached out and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. Carly loved when he did that. "I want out of this place...I want to be in your Penthouse...in your bed."

The flash of lust that immediately shot into his eyes sent heat rushing through her. There was no room inside of this woman for guilt over ending her marriage to Jax, that was pushed out by the ache she had for Jason. Maybe that made her a bitch, as faithless as Lorenzo once accused her, but Carly could care less. For she was faithful to one man in the way that mattered most, Carly had loved Jason without boundaries since he agreed to be the father of her son. He made them a family. Her faith in their connection never wavered, even when he pushed her away and she did her best to move on.

There was no real way to do that, though, to move on past Jason. There had never been, and would never be.

XXXXXXXXXXX

_...in your bed_...those words sunk into him and made Jason long to have Carly away from this hospital, healthy and strong, so he could spend hours upon hours making love to her. For now he settled for giving her a slow, tender kiss.

"Jase," she said softly when he pulled away.

He loved how his name sounded on her lips. The one long drawn out syllable filled with her devotion for him. "We don't have to rush, okay? You need to get better. We have time."

"I don't do patient, though, you know that."

"I know. But don't think stress about us...just know, Carly, nothing can wreck what we have this time. I need you to know..." looking right into his eyes he laid his heart open for her like he should have years before "I'm in love with you. I fell in love with you slowly...a lot slower than you did me, probably. I never called what I felt love. But eventually- way too late- like cold water in my face... it hit me. I had fallen in love with you and I had lost you...I didn't think I deserved to ever have you back or could deal with..._us_, how crazy we can get together, but I can. You can count on me."

"I always do."

" I know. I need that. I need you. I need us. You told me that once you move in with me that I am stuck with you for life, well, you know what? That's not the words I would use. Stuck. But," he smiled "that's what I want to be. What I am, no matter what. I'm sticking with you and I hope you'll stick with me, Carly."

Tears flooded her eyes, making him worry he had said something wrong, though he didn't know what. Jason reached out and took her hand, hoping to calm her down so he could fix whatever he messed up. "Hey, its okay."

Then she smiled, making his heart swell with relief, and said "Its better than okay. Its...everything."

Carly leaned forward and starting kissing him. Between kisses she whispered, "I...love...you...so...damn...much..."

His hands wound in her hair, when she pulled back slightly their foreheads rested against each other.

Carly told him, "This is better than heaven, Jason. Trust me, I know."

XXXXXXXXXX

When he finally brought her home they made quite an entrance into Harborview Towers. Jason had opened the limo door for Carly and scooped her up into his arms, then carried her into the lobby and into the elevator.

She laughed, resting her head against his chest. "I'm more than able to walk, you know."

"Just relax, will you? You are not fully recovered yet."

His eyes met hers for a long moment right before the elevator doors opened. In the look he gave her was pure sweetness, his heart on display for her to see and do with what she wanted. It was him laying down his power, and that took her breath away.

As soon as they were inside the apartment, before he even could close the door, she was kissing him. He kicked the door close with his foot, then carried her to the couch and together they sat down, never breaking their kiss. Her hands moved through his hair and then down to his neck. His came around her back, dragging her closer till her weight was leaning fully on him.

They got lost in the freedom of now being able to freely indulge in what they resisted for so many years. He couldn't get enough of her- would never have his full of this woman. She couldn't believe he made her feel like this- still, now, always. Every nerve ending was on fire, her body was heavy with pent up desire for this man, for his fingers and lips to be on her, for him to be inside of her, for them to be they way she always wanted them to be.

He placed both of his hands on either side of her face, as he gently pulled back, and then rested his forehead against hers. "We have to wait...till you're stronger."

"I hate waiting," she whined. Then she nibbled on his lower lip.

Jason moaned. He fully moved away from her. His breathing was ragged. He wondered how it was that she could so easily tempt him to do things he knew were reckless. She drove him crazy...everyone that it was in the worst way ( his family, his ex- girlfriends and wives) but he knew it was in the best way possible.

She was the one person who, every time she looked at him, reminded Jason Morgan he was not just damaged, just a hitman, just less than the doctor he was born to be, just the man who didn't know how to keep his son or how to live with having lost his son. He was someone's everything...someone's soulmate...someone's midnight call when her world turned upside down...someone's best friend...someone's truest confidant...someone's safety net...someone's first choice...she made him a man, a partner, and father.

"I know you hate waiting," he said, trying to sound stern. She smiled. His eyes slid away but then he smiled too. Putting on a somewhat serious expression again he ordered, "But wait. Got it? You just got out of a coma, okay? You are taking it slow for a while. For me. Will you do that?"

She didn't want to agree to sitting up in bed for weeks on end till he deemed her 100 percent. Carly jumped up and headed for the phone. Jason shook his head at her and followed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna call Dr. Lee and asked her what she thinks about if I'm up for resuming normal bedroom activities."

Gently grabbing Carly's hand he stilled her. Jason pulled her back over to him and bent to kiss her. "You are just too stubborn for your own good."

He lifted her into his arms again. "The only thing you are doing right now is getting into bed."

"Only if you stay with me." Her eyes filled with a sweet challenge that he new he would never be able to resist.

Jason carried Carly upstairs. Right before he opened the door to his room he said "There's something I meant to mention to you before. Lulu asked to do a little redecorating project while you were in the hospital. Spinelli kept complaining about his pink room and the guest room was more like a storage area and my room...she said could use a change. I just let her do whatever she wanted. You'll redo it all anyway the next time you get bored."

"Count on it."

They went into his room and saw that Lulu had removed every piece of furniture that was there and replaced it with a style similar to how Carly decorated her house. All the pieces can from the same design company.

Neither of them really cared what the bedroom looked like though. They only wanted to finally be back in a bed together with no where to go for days.

He laid her down. Jason bent down and removed her shoes, her socks, then straightened and walked over to the closet. He came back with a t-shirt for her to wear. He helped her out of her blouse and then slowly drug off her pants. His eyes roamed over her. Hers stayed locked on him. Then Carly was on her knees, bringing her arms up to wrap around his neck.

She whispered, "I've waited long enough. Don't you think?"


End file.
